Friday, August 14, 2009

Somethin' Keeps A Holdin' On To Me (115)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

*twangy strums from Willie Nelson's old beat-up guitar 'Trigger'*

'Got drunk ag'in last night
Just tryin' to shake free
Of somethin' that's been
A holdin' on to me.

Oh yeah, I'm tryin'
To forget, to let go,
But somethin' keeps
A holdin' on to me.


*more twangin' from Willie's guitar 'Trigger'*

Laughed with my buds,
And talked with Sue.
Still, I can't shake
The memories of you.

Oh yeah, I'm tryin'
To forget, to let go,
But somethin' just keeps
A holdin' on to me.


*more twangin' from Willie's guitar 'Trigger'*

Another bottle o' Jack
And I stumbled on home.
What a miserable feelin'
Bein' all alone.

Oh yeah, I'm tryin'
To forget, to let go,
But somethin' keeps
A holdin' on to me.


*more twangin' from Willie's guitar 'Trigger' and some piano and harmonica too*

Seems kinda crazy,
The older I get.
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I forget?

Oh yeah, I'm tryin'
To forget, to let go,
But somethin' just keeps
A holdin' on to me.

Yeah, baby, a holdin' on to me.
Yeah, baby, ya' gotta let go o' me!


*more twangin' from Willie's guitar 'Trigger'*

Gotta get a grip o' myself,
Gotta take control o' my life.
Gotta let ya' go now,
You're no longer my wife.

No, you're no longer my wife.
No longer my wife, no, no, no.


*more twangin' from Willie's guitar 'Trigger' and some piano and harmonica too*

Oh yeah, I'm tryin'
To forget, to let go,
But somethin' just keeps
A holdin' on to me.

Yeah girl, I'm tryin'
To forget, to let go,
But somethin' just keeps
A holdin' on to me.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by Willie Nelson and his guitar named 'Trigger'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No Exit (114)


Have ya' ever felt like you were lost inside your own mind? Have ya' ever found yourself mulling things from the past over and over in your mind? Have you ever searched for an exit to a destination in your own mind that you just simply could not find?

Then perhaps you can relate to these lyrics ...

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Lost inside my mind,
I keep searchin' for an exit.

But it seems to be an exit
That I just can't find.

O'er n' o'er wonderin'
Just where I might be headed.
I can't seem to find the way
To my destination.

Seems there's no exit,
That I'm lost inside my mind.
If there's an exit out there,
I can't seem to find it.

Things I can't forget,
A few that I really should.
Wonderful memories of you
And the time we first met.

Things I should redo,
So many I wanna repeat.
Those sweet, sweet memories of
Long ago, me and you.

Seems there's no exit,
That I'm lost inside my mind.
If there's an exit out there,
I can't seem to find it.

I can't kill the pain,
And I can't drink enough booze.
If my mind keeps on spinnin',
I might go insane.

I wonder at times,
Do ya' still think about me?
Or have ya' moved on without me,
And escaped your own mind?

For me, there's no exit,
And I'm lost inside my mind,
If there's an exit out there,
I just can't find it.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by vanity license plates which a psychologist friend of mine had for his convertible

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lord, Don't Let Those Cold Winds Blow Before I'm Too Old To Die Young (113)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Please, Lord, don't let
Those cold winds blow
Before I'm too old
To die young.

And Lord, don't let
Me pass from this world
Before my final song
At last is sung.

Ya' see, Dear Lord,
I've got a few things
I still need to do
And do better.

Lord, I've got
A few small regrets.
Time has flowed by me
Like a roaring river.

So, Lord, grant me
Just a few more years.
A few good years
Without pain or strife.

There's so much more
I intend to do,
More I can do to live 6
A fuller and betterer life.

So please, Lord, don't let
Those cold winds blow
Before I'm too old
To die young.

No, Lord, don't let
Those cold winds blow
Before I'm too old
To die young.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by my step-father, Glenn, a good and kind-hearted man

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gimme One More Shot (And Please Make It A Double) (112)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

A shot of bourbon
With a cold beer chaser.
Another lonely night
Talkin' to my friendly bartender.

Smokin' cigars and
Drinkin' my troubles away.
Your name came up again
Like it has so many yesterdays.

Gimme one more shot,
And please make it a double.
I jus' really wanna
Forget all my worries and troubles.

Came home one evening
About seven months ago.
Our new house was empty,
Your whereabouts completely unknown.

A few hours later,
You called on the phone to say
That you were leavin' me,
That you could no longer possibly stay.

Gimme one more shot,
And please make it a double.
I jus' really wanna
Forget all my worries and troubles.

Yeah, I'm jus' tryin'
To make it through one more day.
Jus' one day at a time,
Yesterday, tomorrow and today.

Jus' tryin' to function,
That's about all I can do.
Try as much as I might,
I just can't stop thinkin' about you.

Gimme one more shot,
And please make it a double.
I'm really tryin' to
Forget all my worries and troubles.

Hit me one more time,
And please make it a double.
Gimme one more shot,
And please, Levin, make it a double.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by my ol' bartender friend, Levin Letner

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Lots Of Time To Think (And Too Long To Remember) (111)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Drivin' westward
Down a wet n' dusty road.
Gotta get to Lubbock
And deliver this load.

Big ol' diesel screamin',
Shiftin' to a lower gear.
Another long hill to climb
Pullin' this load of beer.

Lots of time to think,
And too long to remember.
Wish I could get my mind
On somethin' else but her.

All kinds of thoughts,
So many thoughts from the past.
They occupy my mind,
And they sure seem to last.

I sure do miss her,
And all the good times we had.
But on the otherhand,
I ain't missin' the bad.

Lots of time to think,
And too long to remember.
Wish I could get my mind
On somethin' else but her.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by times when I've had too much time to think

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lonesome Ain't So Bad (Not When You've Got Lonesome Friends) (110)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I'm gettin' accustomed
To feelin' lonesome.
I'm gettin' used to
A life all alone.

It ain't been so easy
Ever since she left,
But I'm gettin' by,
No longer feel adrift.

Lonesome ain't so bad,
For, my friend, you see,
There's lots of lonesome folks
To keep you company.

My friends are lonesome,
Many have told me so.
Failed relationships,
Some feelin' pretty low.

Lonesome ain't so lonesome
When you've got lonesome friends.
Lonesome ain't so bad;
It really just depends.

Nope, lonesome ain't so bad
For, my friend, you see,
There's lots of lonesome folks
To keep you company.

Lonesome ain't so bad,
No no no, no it ain't.
Lonesome ain't really so bad,
No no no, it sure ain't.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the experience of a lonesome life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Ozark Hills Of Branson (109)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

It was a spectacular
Missouri spring mornin',
Sunshine peekin' o'er
The Ozark hills of Branson.

Happy to be together,
Our weekend getaway,
We drove through the night
And pulled in on Friday.

Hold me, kiss me,
Touch me, love me.
Let's escape together.
Come get away with me.

Boat ride on Tanneycomo,
An Andy Williams' show.
Candlelight dinner,
Baby, I'm wantin' you so.

A magical and balmy
Moonlit Missouri night.
A warm summer breeze,
Everything is just right.

Come and lay down beside me.
Press up close against me.
At last we're alone.
Hold me tight, make love to me.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a trip to The Missouri Ozarks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She Ran O'er Ol' Jack (108)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Don't mind her leavin',
Don't care if she ever comes back.
When she backed down the driveway
She ran o'er ol' Jack!

I don't give a hoot in hell
What happens to her anymore!
But I'll tell ya' this,
I miss ol' Jack for sure.

Ol' Jack was my best friend,
At my side through the years.
I sure know I'll miss him
When quail season nears.

She left in a big ol' hissy fit,
Didn't bother to look back.
And she tore out my heart
When she ran o'er ol' Jack.

My best friend,
Tail always waggin'.
Unconditional love,
Yep, that was ol' Jack!

Oh yeah, my best friend,
Tail always a waggin',
Unconditional love.
I'll never forget ol' Jack!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer

Inspired by my dog, Spot

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank Ya', Thank Ya', Suzie Q. (107)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

You always cheer me up
When I'm feelin' down.
Somehow I feel happy
Whenever you're around.

You're a breath of fresh air,
A warm ray of sunshine.
We giggle and we laugh,
You're always so very kind.

You're such a sweet gal,
I just wanna thank you.
From the bottom of my heart,
Thank ya', dear sweet Suzie Q.

It's fun to joke around
And flirt a little too.
I value your advice
And all the things you do.

Hopin' to get down there
To visit ya' sometime soon,
Until then I'll think of you
When I gaze upon the moon.

You're a wonderful lady,
I just wanna thank you.
I'm serious when I say
Thank ya', thank ya', Suzie Q.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by Suzie Q. from Plano, Texas
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sweet Memories Of You (Can't Seem To Leave 'Em Behind) (106)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Sittin' on a barstool
Down in Amarillo,
I was thinkin' about you
And the places we used to go.

That time in San Antone,
A moonlit night on the Riverwalk,
We enjoyed a candlelight dinner,
And we talked and we talked.

There was the time at
That great steak house in Fort Worth,
You looked so radiant.
We had wine and the surf n' turf.

I remember all the good times,
Out in Myrtle Beach also.
Fresh seafood, great golfing
And quiet times at the condo.

The memories of you
Still flood through my mind.
Sweet memories of you,
I can't seem to leave behind.

All those times at the club
And our "friendly" golf wagers,
The way we structured them
For loving intimate favors.

Always looking forward
To the nights after our rounds,
Winning or losing never mattered,
Funny as it may sound.

Those weekend football trips,
You enjoyed going along.
We both cheered together
And sang The Mizzou Fight Song.

All the wonderful times
With our special friends,
I remember them still
And long to have them again.

The memories of you
Still flood through my mind.
Sweet memories of you,
Can't seem to leave 'em behind.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

What are the memories you can't seem to leave behind?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by memories I can't seem to leave behind

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Longest n' Best Damned Country-Western-Crappie Fishin' Folk Song Ever! (105)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I got to talkin' with my new friend
From Plano, Texas just the other day.
Her name is Suzie Q. and I met her
On the internet not too long ago.
She told me she likes country-western songs,
And I can understand why beings she lives
Down in the Longhorn Lonestar State.
Well, Suzie told me that she likes
Some of the songs I had written,
Told me she thought I had some talent.
Well, that was damned nice of her,
But I think she was bein' way too kind,
Tryin' to make me feel good,
Or maybe even tryin' to strike up
A romantic relationship with me!
Anyway, ol' Suzie Q. said that
All good country-western songs tell a story
About either drinkin' whiskey in a honky tonk,
Drivin' an old dusty pickup truck,
Ropin' doggies out on the trail,
Or tearfully regrettin' the loss of a woman.
Well, I gotta to thinkin' about what Suzie Q. said
And decided that I'd just write a country-western song
That would tell a story about all that stuff
And maybe a whole helluva lot more.
Well, friends, I decided to write me the lyrics
To the best damned country-western song ever!
And I also reckoned that as long as I was writin',
I might just as well write the lyrics for
The longest damned country-western song ever written.
Now, I recalled that Arlo Guthrie had written
A long-ass protest folk song called 'Alice's Restaurant'.
Yep, ol' Arlo wrote that song way back in the 60s,
And, as I recall, that song is over eighteen minutes long.
Well, it was then and still is a damned good song,
One of Arlo's best accordin' to my reckoning!
The only problem is that it's so freakin' long
That it doesn't get played much any more,
Especially not in these days and times.
These days, about the only doggone time
you can hear 'Alice's Restaurant' on the radio
Is Thanksgiving Day at 12 o'clock noon,
And that's because Arlo and his friend
Went out to visit Alice and her husband
In Massachusetts on a Thanksgiving Day.
I just imagine it's a kinda cult thing.
Now, lemme just tell y'all,
I sure do hope this here song will get played
On the jukeboxes in honky tonks, saloons, bars
And taverns all across America every night.
The way I see it though, I need to make
A complete and full disclosure to all my fans
Who will end up playin' this song on the jukebox.
I figure they need to be clearly forewarned
about just a few ctitically important things!

And that full-disclosure is this, my friends ...

"This here is a long-ass country-western-crappie fishin' folk song.
It's kinda country like Patsy Cline's famous song 'Crazy'.
It's kinda western like Ernest Tubb's 'Waltz Across Texas'.
But that don't mean that I wear a ten-gallon hat
Like Ernest Tubb, the ol' Texas Troubador, once did!
And last but not least, this song is real, real long,
And it's kinda like an old folk song from the 60s
That just keeps rattlin' on darned near forever.
I wanted to set a new American folk song record,
So I intentionally made it longer than
Arlo Guthrie's ol' hippie war protest song, 'Alice's Restaurant'.
It ain't no hippie war protest folk song though.
It's a crappie fishin' folk song, maybe the first one ever written.
Now, since this song is also the longest damned song ever written,
And since you're probably listenin' to it in a smokey ol' honky tonk,
saloon, bar or seedy small-town tavern,
I recommend that you settle back
And order yourself a bucket o' ice cold longnecks.
Or, if you're a hard-core straight whiskey drinker,
go right ahead and order up a bottle of Jack Daniels,
Jim Beam, Wild Turkey or whatever it is you like the best.
Now, there's just one other thing
Before I start tellin' you this long-ass story.
There are parts of this story that are funny.
There are parts that are sad.
If ya' get to drinkin' a little too much,
this song might even bring some sad memories back to mind.
And that could lead to you drinkin' even more.
Now, if that should happen to you,
I want you to give your car keys or your truck keys
To the bartender and tell him or her to call you a cab
Or give you a ride home if you live in a small town like I do
Where there just ain't any cabs.
Ya' see, I just don't wanna be responsible
For any of ya' gettin' a DWI or maybe killin' yourselves
In a terrible motor vehicle collision.
I'm warnin' y'all, and I hope that y'all will listen to me!
I accept no legal liability for
Whatever terrible and awful things might happen to ya'
When ya' listen to this here long-ass song."

So much for my full disclosure and warning!
Now, settle in for the absolute longest
And best damned country-western-crappie fishin' folk song
Ever written and ever sung .... if I must say so myself!

The story upon which this song is based begins
Way back in the early spring of 1984.
I guess y'all know that all good folk songs
Are based upon wild stories.
A part of this song is actually real,
And a part of this song is, well, just made up.

So, here we go!
Settle back and have another beer
Or another glass of whiskey.
Oh, and ya' just might wanna have some nachos n' cheese
Or some of those pickled eggs they keep behind the bar.

It was cold and rainy back then in March of 1984,
Just as it is on the day I'm writin' down this song.
Ya' see, I wrote this song on St. Paddy's Day, March 17th, 2008.
And it's pretty cool and damp here in Missouri today,
Just the way I remember it was back then!

My wife back then was seven months pregnant
With our first and only child, a girl as it would turn out.
MNow, my daughter is my pride and joy.
She's become a pretty good bluegill and crappie fishin' gal herself,
But let's leave all of that outta this story.

One of my best drinkin' and fishin' buddies suggested
That we head on down to Kentucky Lake to do a little crappie fishin'.
Now my ol' buddy, Pat, is a fanatic duck hunter,
A fanatic bass and a fanatic crappie fisherman.
He's just an all-around, A#1, fanatical outdoorsman!
His Dad used to be a successful fishin' guide down on Bull Shoals Lake,
Which runs between southwest Missouri and northwest Arkansas ...
A beautiful clear lake if I do say so myself!
Pat's Dad operated out of Pontiac Boat Dock
And he really knew his fishin'.
My good buddy, Pat, he was just the same way!
He was a chip off the ol' block!

Well friends, we hitched up my Hydra-Sport bass boat
Behind my full-sized Ford Bronco,
and we headed on down to Mansard Island Fishin' Resort
Right on Kentucky Lake near Paris, Tennessee.
Before we left out, we had to arrange for
Pat's black labs and my bird dogs to be fed and watered.
Ya' see our wives, they both worked to make money
So ol' Pat and I could go fishin' and huntin'.
We didn't wanna saddle them with havin' to take care
Of our purebred huntin' dogs.
We were already skatin' on pretty thin ice,
since we had gone fishin' just the weekend before.
This time we were leavin' for a whole week of fishin' relaxation!
Well, we managed to talk another good beer drinkin', fishin' buddy
Into takin' care of our dogs while we were away.
His name was Brian, and ol' Brian was real accomodatin' that way!
We told Brian we'd compensate him for his troubles
By buyin' him a case of Busch Bavarian beer, which was his favorite.

It was about a three hour haul down to Paris, Tennessee,
Especially when towin' a fishin' boat.
We stopped off in Cairo, Illinois at Shemwell's Barbeque Place
And got us a bag full of barbeque sandwiches to go.
This was our ritual every time we went down to Kentucky Lake.
We also filled up our coffee Thermos bottles at Shemwell's.
And as all fishin' buddies often do,
We talked and talked about our fishin' prospects
And what those crappie would be bitin' on.
After a good deal of careful planning and consideration,
we decided to try both live minnows and artificial crappie jigs.
We must've brought all the damned fishin' tackle we owned,
Plenty of jiggin' poles and plenty of bait casting equipment.
Lemme tell ya' friends, we were prepared for just about anything ...
Except, that is, for what was about to happen to us!

Now, as we got down into western Tennessee,
We started runnin' into a little rain and a cool n' nasty east wind
Which had picked up a bit too.
My windshield wipers were slappin' time
To the music of the Willie Nelson cassette I was playin'.
'Whiskey River', 'Blue Eyes Cryin' In The Rain',
'Georgia On My Mind' and many, many more!
Ol' Pat and I knew the words to 'em all,
And we were singin' along like a couple crazy fools.
My ol' buddy Pat and I were gettin' into
The Kentucky Lake crappie fishin' mood!

As we got closer and closer to Mansard Island Fishin' Resort,
The rain came down harder and harder!
As we pulled onto State Highway 79,
Pat said "Don't think we'll be doin' much fishin' today!"
"Yep" I said, "Let's just launch the boat and tie it up in our boat slip.
We'll get everthing ready and hit the lake early tomorrow mornin'!"
And so, that's just what we did.
Down at the boat dock, ol' John who ran the store
Greeted us like we were almost his kin folk.
Ya' see, we'd fished out of his dock for many years,
And ya' kinda get to knowin' folks real well around a fishin' dock.
Ol' John gave us the latest information on how the crappie were bitin',
which was not too good after the rainy cold front had moved in.
Anyway, Pat and I reckoned we might as well run into Paris,
Eat a bit and do a little drinkin' for the rest of the afternoon.
And so that's just what we did.
We hit several joints, the VFW Post 1889,
A joint I can't even remember anymore and finally Hank's Place.
Ya' see folks, Hank Williams, Jr. and his family
Are originally from around the Paris, Tennessee area,
And when ol' Bocephus got famous and made some money,
He invested in a big beer drinkin', country music place
In downtown Paris, Tennessee.
Although it happened to be St. Paddy's Day,
They didn't have any green beer at Hank's Place,
Which disappointed both Pat and me,
Because we were both engineers the University of Missouri
And St. Pat had also been an engineer.
Nevertheless, we proceded to drink our fill of regular beer.
Our bartender gal, named Michelle, was real friendly,
And we both liked talkin' to her a whole lot.
If ya' can't fish for crappie or drink green beer on St. Paddy's day,
It's kinda nice to talk to a sweet, good-lookin' barmaid
From the town of Paris, Tennessee.
And so that's what we in fact did.
I got real engrossed in our conversation and kept orderin' beer.
But all of sudden, I looked around an ol' Pat was no where to be found.
"Where did Pat go?" I asked Michelle.
"Saw him talkin' on that pay phone over by the restrooms
Just a few minutes ago!" she replied.
"Maybe he's in the restroom." I remarked.
Ten minutes later ol' Pat had not emerged from the men's room.
"Well I'll be damned, Michelle!" I remarked to Michelle.
"I wonder where the hell he took off to?"
Anyway, I kept drinkin' beer and talkin' to Michelle.
I wasn't worried too much about ol' Pat;
Figured he was big enough to take care of himself.
Michelle was an awful sweet gal,
And I was kinda takin' a shine to her!
Loved her sugar-sweet Tennessee accent!
Before long, it got to be closin' time for Michelle,
And I was the only dumb fool remainin' in Hank's Place.
"Do you need a ride home, hon?" Michelle asked.
Well folks, all sorts of wild ideas
Started runnin' through my head at about that time.
I kinda imagined how nice it would be to crawl into bed
With lovely, blonde-haired, sweet-talkin' Michelle.
It seemed like maybe Michelle was puttin' out the signal to me
That she'd like to maybe have a one-night stand with me.
Anyway, all the beer had gotten me to thinkin' that way.
I agreed to let her drive me to the cabin
Back at the Mansard Island Fishin' Resort where Pat and I were stayin'.
She locked up Hank's Place, and we got into my Bronco.
Evidently Michelle had taken many drunken' fishermen
Back to the Mansard Island Fishin' Resort,
'Cause she sure knew the directions how to get there
On all those remote Tennessee roads.
I remember unbuttonin' her Hank's Place blouse
On the drive back to the cabin, but then I must've blanked out.
The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the cabin,
And I had one helluva Budweiser headache.
Now, Pat and I hadn't shopped for groceries yet,
So I reached for a warm beer in the cooler we had brought with us.
Unfortunately, the ice had all melted.
Have ya' ever drank warm beer early in the mornin'
When your head is still spinnin' and poundin'
And your mouth is dry from the night before?
I looked at my watch and it was 9 a.m. already!
So much for gettin' out on the lake at the crack of dawn!
And then the cabin door swings open, and there's ol' Pat!
"What the hell happened to you last night? Where ya' been?"
I lit right into him for leavin' Hank's Place without tellin' me!
"Long-ass story ol' boy! Let's just say, I had me some fun!"
Pat grinned at me and I knew what that most likely meant.
"So, do ya' wanna fish or do ya' wanna sleep?" I inquired.
"Let's fill up the cooler with beer and ice and get out on the lake!" Pat said.
"I didn't come down here to sleep!"
I said "OK!" and off we went!
I had a helluva headache, so I bought some aspirin down at the boat dock.
I guess we both looked like death warmed over.
At least, I believe ol' John thought so.
But he never did rag on us too awful much!
John did, however, offer us a couple discount coupons
For breakfast up at the 'Oak Tree Restaurant'
Which was part of 'Buchanon's Fishin' Resort' just a mile away.
That sounded good to Pat and me, so we accepted the coupons
And jumped into my Bronco.
"Damn!" Pat exclaimed. "Who puked out of this window?"
"I don't know." I pretended I didn't know a blessed thing about it.
"Just roll down your window and let some fresh air in!" I told him.
On the way up to 'The Oak Tree Restaurant',
Pat forced me to confess that Michelle had driven me home the night before.
"Did ya' bang her?" he continued.
"No, no!" I defended my marital fidelity. "I was too damned drunk!"
"And what about you, ol' boy? What the hell happened to you last night?"
I came back on Pat with my own questions.
"Oh, nothin'." he grinned like a dammned Tennessee possum.
Well, I knew I'd never get the truth out of him,
And besides, I had a poundin' headache.
We pulled up to 'The Oak Tree Restaurant',
And we went inside get some breakfast with our 10% off coupons.
We got us a pot full of hot, black coffee
And tried not to look into the rising mornin' sun
That was blazin' through the window where we were seated.
Then Pat told me to look over at the corner table
Way across the restaurant.
"Do ya' know who that is?" he asked in a whispered voice.
My head hurt, my eyes hurt and I could barely see across the restaurant.
"Nope, who is it?" I answered.
"That's Hank Williams, Jr., you dumbass!" he chastised me.
Well, it just so happened that when we got up to pay our tab,
Ol' Hank, Jr., Bocephus himself, was headed there too.
We kinda met at the register simultaneously.
Hank, Jr. reached for the tooth pick container,
And he knocked the whole thing over on the floor.
Wearin' his dark sun glasses, he gave all appearances
That he might be even more hungover than me and Pat.
Anyway, I wanted to shake his hand, so I said hello and offered my hand.
"Howdy, guys!" he bellowed out. "Been catchin' any?"
Then Pat said "Nope, not yet! We got drunk at your place in Paris last night,
And we're just gettin' started this mornin'!"
"Well good luck boys! I'm here scoutin' out some places
To turkey hunt in a few weeks."
"I've got kin folk who own this restaurant as well as
The boat n' motor dealership down near the lake."
"Glad to have you boys fishin' here! By the way, where y'all from?"
"Cape Girardeau." Pat answered.
We got our change and then wished Hank, Jr. well,
And then we headed on out the door.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I still ain't finished with this long-ass country-western-crappie fishin' folk song. And that's because this was the damnest crappie fishin' trip ol' Pat and I ever went on! I hope you'll come back when I get around to finishin' this thing! The story gets crazier and crazier!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the long-ass Thanksgiving Day song "Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Guthrie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For Better Or Worse (104)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

For better or worse,
I recall the words well.
So very much in love,
We could only hear bells.

Walkin' down that aisle,
How beautiful you were!
We exchanged simple vows,
Before our church pastor.

And better did come,
Our early years so happy.
Intimate times together,
And then our first baby.

When you're in love,
'Seems no end will come.
Worse is unimaginable;
It only happens to some!

But over the years,
Along came the worse.
What only happened to some,
Was now happening to us.

For better or worse,
I recall the words well.
Soft sound of your voice,
The ringing of the bells.

For better or worse,
We affirmed our vows.
For richer or poorer,
I hear those words now.

For better or worse,
The promises we made.
'Til death do us part,
My memory won't fade.

For better or worse,
Those four simple words.
We promised each other;
We promised The LORD.

For better or worse,
Sacred promise broken.
And now I wonder,
Have we been forgiven?

Yeah, I still wonder ...
Have we been forgiven?
Didn't get through worse,
But we gotta start livin'!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

One version of the traditional Christian wedding vows ....

"[Name], do you take [Name] to be your wedded [husband/wife] to live together in marriage. Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep [him/her]. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. And forsaking all others, be faithful only to [him/her] so long as you both shall live?"

What vows did you make? Did you keep them?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the traditional wedding vows

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Memories Of You (103)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Drowning in an ocean,
An ocean deep and blue.
Washing o'er my mind,
The memories of you.

Every cresting wave
As far as I can see,
Each one a story
About you and me.

Drowning in an ocean,
An ocean deep and blue.
Flooding o'er my mind,
The memories of you.

Wind and salty spray,
Seagulls in the sky.
Memories of you
Bring tears to my eyes.

Drowning in an ocean,
An ocean deep and blue.
Washing o'er my mind,
The memories of you.

Foamy waves of love,
Our nights of passion.
Oh how I wish you'd
Come back to me again.

Drowning in an ocean,
An ocean deep and blue.
Flooding o'er my mind,
The memories of you.

Oh yeah, sweet baby,
Listen to that sound.
Surf lapping the sand,
Music all around.

Drowning in an ocean,
An ocean deep and blue.
Washing o'er my mind,
The memories of you.

Our slow moonlit strolls
On clear balmy nights.
Soft breeze, palms swaying,
The sounds and the sights.

Drowning in an ocean,
An ocean deep and blue.
Flooding o'er my mind,
The memories of you.

Our sweet quiet times,
Sitting on the beach.
Relaxing, talking,
Just being out of reach.

Drowning in an ocean,
An ocean deep and blue.
Washing o'er my mind,
The memories of you.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by memories of YOU

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Red Ink And Stinking Rot (102)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Trouble blowing in the wind ...
Nervous questions of feigned concern,
Carefully worded answers in response.
Lower confidence I did discern.

Senators with furrowed brows
Wondering whether or not
The financial house of cards
Can be saved from stinking rot.

Sub-prime mortgage defaults,
Red ink, credit crisis, no liquidity.
The Federal Reserve stepping in
To prevent major bankruptcy.

Regulators testifying
Working weekends on their task
Claimed they had balanced
Moral hazard with systemic risk.

Taxpayer funds on the line,
Socializing risk once more
While privatizing reward ...
A system rotten to its very core.

And on and on we go ...
Crisis momentarily averted!
'Til next time, when once again
Your interests will be subverted.

Red ink and stinking rot ...
We are heading for meltdown!
Red ink and stinking rot ...
Hubris, avarice, greed abound!

Yah, yah my taxpayer friends,
Your tax dollars down the drain!
Oh yah! Lemme tell ya' now!
Your tax dollars down the drain!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the Bush/Obama recession

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

You're Gettin' To Me, Baby (101)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Cute little hillbilly
Ozark mountain lady,
You're gettin' to me, baby.
And you're on my mind daily!

Pretty, bright and witty,
Sometimes just a bit silly.
You're gettin' to me, sweetie.
Oh you sure are, yes really!

Sweet simple country girl,
So honest and so pure.
You're gettin' to me, baby.
Pullin' my heartstrings for sure.

The simple life you lead,
No big city pretentions!
You're gettin' to me, honey.
May I express my affection!

But are you right for me?
And am I the one for you?
Yep, you're gettin' to me hon.
Now what the heck should I do?

You're gettin' to me, baby.
In my mind and in my heart!
You're gettin' to me, honey.
Yah yah, yah yah! Yes you are!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a sweet little gal from Piedmont, Missouri

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Take Me All The Way There (100)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Take me, please take me,
Take me all the way there.
To a place we've gone before,
You know how, you know where.

Touch me and tease me,
Take me all the way there.
Come along with me my sweet,
Let us escape with each other.

Hold me and kiss me,
Take me all the way there.
Chase my cares away
If only for awhile my dear.

Hug me and squeeze me,
Take me all the way there.
Help me lose myself,
You know how, you know where.

Caress and stroke me,
Take me all the way there.
I'm breathin' heavily now,
And I'm gaspin' for air.

Feelin' great now hon,
Take me all the way there.
Higher and further
Than I've ever been before.

Yes, my precious love,
Take me all the way there.
Show me a new place
I've never seen before.

Ooooh yeah baby! Oh my!
I'm there baby, I'm there!
Ooooh yeah baby! Oh yes!
Yes, I'm all the way there!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by intimate memories

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Missouri Bluebird (099)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Missouri bluebird,
Balmy springtime weather.
Tiny burnt orange breast,
Azure blue feathers.

Active little bird,
Flitting from tree to tree.
Come a wee bit closer;
Sing a song for me.

Missouri bluebird,
Balmy springtime weather.
Tiny burnt orange breast,
Azure blue feathers.

When I hear you sing,
It makes me feel better.
You chase my cares away
When we're together.

Missouri bluebird,
Balmy springtime weather.
Tiny burnt orange breast,
Azure blue feathers.

When I watch you fly,
My spirits are lifted.
And in this special way,
You're truly gifted.

Missouri bluebird,
Balmy springtime weather.
Tiny burnt orange breast,
Azure blue feathers.

It's nice to see you
On an April morning.
You satisfy within me
Some deeper yearning.

Missouri bluebird,
Balmy springtime weather.
Tiny burnt orange breast,
Azure blue feathers.

God's little creature,
I envy your freedom.
And marvel at the way
You freely go and come.

Missouri bluebird,
Balmy springtime weather.
Tiny burnt orange breast,
Azure blue feathers.

Neither do you toil,
Nor labor nor worry.
Yet you're provided for
So richly, so abundantly.

Missouri bluebird,
Balmy springtime weather.
Tiny burnt orange breast,
Azure blue feathers.

Watching you closely,
I'm reminded again ...
The simple truth of His
Parable lesson.

Missouri bluebird,
Balmy springtime weather.
Tiny burnt orange breast,
Azure blue feathers.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a Missouri Bluebird

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cold Feet (098)


Have you ever had "cold feet"? Have you ever been in a relationship with someone else who got "cold feet"?

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

'Woke up this mornin',
You were on my mind.
A sweeter little gal,
I ain't ever gonna find.

I've known some ladies,
But only a few.
Perfume on my pillow
Keeps remindin' me of you.

Most definitely
The best one of all,
You're really special,
A real sweetheart, a real doll.

We had a great night,
But now we're apart.
I miss you already,
You've gotten into my heart.

I'm just wondering;
I was just thinking.
Why don't we get married,
And do the right thing?

For better or worse,
'Til death do us part.
For richer or poorer,
In sickness and in health.

We love each other;
That's quite evident.
So why not tie the knot,
Make a life-long commitment.

For better or worse,
'Til death do us part.
For richer or poorer,
In sickness and in health.

Been married before,
But it didn't last.
Learned a few things,
From that marriage, from my past.

For better or worse,
'Til death do us part.
For richer or poorer,
In sickness and in health.

Keep askin' myself,
I wanna be sure.
Will I always and forever
Love, honor and cherish her?

For better or worse,
'Til death do us part.
For richer or poorer,
In sickness and in health.

Don't wanna screw up
Nor make a mistake.
Don't wanna fail this time;
Had plenty of heartache.

For better or worse,
'Til death do us part.
For richer or poorer,
In sickness and in health.

Maybe this won't work;
Perhaps I should wait.
Better not take a chance,
I'd better not tempt fate.

For better or worse,
'Til death do us part.
For richer or poorer,
In sickness and in health.

I'm gettin' cold feet;
I'm gettin' cold feet.
I can't go through with it.
Damn it! I'm gettin' cold feet!

No, no, I just can't!

I'm gettin' cold feet;
I'm gettin' cold feet.
I can't go through with it.
Damn it! I'm gettin' cold feet!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by memories of a time when I just got "cold feet"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes We Can! (Obama Theme Song) (097)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

March on America,
Shoulders back, head held high.
Press on resolutely;
There's so much more to do.

Lead on America,
For freedom and justice,
Economic fairness,
For equality too.

Keep on America;
Don't stop America.
We, yes We The People,
We're all countin' on you!

We're in this together.
Yes we are! Yes we are!
We can make it happen.
YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

Boston, New York City,
L.A., Kalamazoo.
From sea to shining sea,
Red, white and royal blue.

It may be hard right now,
But folks, we just can't stop!
'Gotta keep on movin'
'Til we get back on top!

Higher, take us higher.
'Gotta keep on climbin'!
C'mon America!
'Gotta climb back up that mountain!

We're in this together.
Yes we are! Yes we are!
We can make it happen.
YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by 2008 Presidential Campaign

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rack 'Em Jamie! (096)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Blonde hair, azure blue eyes,
She sat down next to me.
Angel on a barstool,
She came down to rescue me.

Sultry southern accent,
Sweetest voice in Heaven.
Found time for one more beer;
It was only eleven.

Pool tables, neon signs,
A smokey ol' tavern.
Cigarettes and cold beer,
Eight ball in the corner.

'Challenged me to a game,
I had hoped that she might.
Eight ball with an Angel,
It was my lucky night!

Rack 'em Jamie!
Best two out of three!
Rack 'em Jamie!
Won't ya come on home with me?!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Rack 'em Jamie!
Won't ya come on home with me?!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a pool-shootin' angel named Jamie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As You Do Unto The Least Of These ........ (095)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

You gotta reach down,
And touch a small child.
Look into his eyes,
And give him a smile.

Gotta share your love,
And show him you're there.
Give him a warm hug,
And tell him you care.

Remember what Jesus said ...
"As you do unto
The least of these,
You do unto me."

You gotta reach out,
And assist the poor.
Yeah, be generous,
Give a little more.

There are those who have,
And those who have not.
Be quick to help out
Those less fortunate.

Don't forget what Jesus said ...
"As you do unto
The least of these,
You do unto me."

Give aid and comfort
To those who despair.
Give them your time,
And show them you care.

The orphans, widows,
And the prisoners ...
They all really need
Your thoughts and your prayers.

So remember what Jesus said ...
"As you do unto
The least of these,
You do unto me."


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by Matthew 25:40

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Night Of Lovin' (Will Just Have To Do) (094)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

One night of lovin'
Will just have to do.
'Til I get to heaven
And once again see you.

One night of lovin',
The mem'ry of you.
Just too little time,
Though our love was true.

One night of lovin'
Will just have to do.
I'm holdin' onto all
My best mem'ries of you.

One night of lovin'
Will just have to do.
Memories still so clear,
A time when our love was new.

One night of lovin'
Will just have to do.
You left me way too soon;
Now I'm sorely missin' you.

Vivid memories,
One night of lovin'...
They'll just have to suffice
'Til I'm with you again.

One night of lovin'
Will just have to do.
Oh yah, one night of lovin'
Will just have to do!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by one night of lovin'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sparks Of Divinity (093)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Amidst horror
And terrible tragedy,
You'll quite often see
The very best of humanity.

Look carefully
For sparks of divinity
Smoldering amidst
The cold ashes of atrocity.

In dire poverty
and terrible suffering,
You'll see bright, warm rays
Of the hopeful human spirit shining.

Look carefully, my friends,
For sparks of divinity
Smoldering amidst
The cold ashes of atrocity.

The human spirit is
Totally irrepressible.
The human spirit is
So completely uncontainable.

Look carefully, my friends,
For sparks of divinity
Smoldering amidst
The cold ashes of atrocity.

When things are darkest,
Sparks of divinity glow bright.
And when all seems lost,
There's hope for humanity in the night.

Look carefully, my friends,
For those sparks of divinity
Smoldering amidst
The cold ashes of atrocity.

You'll see that people
Are capable of amazing actions,
Charity, self-sacrifice,
Bravery and compassion.

Yes, you'll often see
Warming sparks of divinity
Smoldering amidst
The cold ashes of atrocity.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by images of the Iraq War

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chasin' My Dream (092)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I'm blastin' off,
Headin' straight up to the sky.
I'm gonna stay focused
'Til the day that I die!

I'm workin' hard,
But that's what I gotta do.
I'm gonna chase my dream,
Way up there in the blue.

I'm chasin' my dream;
Gonna go to the top.
I'm chasin' my dream,
And I ain't gonna stop.

I've got a plan,
And I know where I'm goin'.
I've got a BIG DREAM;
Failure's not an option.

My dream's all mine;
Won't let anyone steal it!
My dream is real clear;
No one's gonna change it!

I'm chasin' my dream;
Goin' straight to the top.
I'm chasin' my dream;
Ain't ever gonna stop!

Yeah, yeah, baby!
I'm chasin' my dream;
Ain't ever gonna stop!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by Dexter and Birdie Yager of Amway Global

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, August 10, 2009

Connie Sue, Connie Sue! (091)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Though once very close,
We drifted apart.
Our happiness became
Heartache and sadness.

Though we started strong,
It all fell apart.
Love, trust and friendship turned
To deep bitterness.

Still thinkin' about you,
Connie Sue, Connie Sue!
Oh yeah, girl ...
Everything changed but nothin's new.

Can't stop wonderin'...
Just where we went wrong.
And can't stop thinkin'...
How we even last so long.

Can't stop believin' ...
You're still my closest friend.
And can't stop prayin' ...
I'll see you once again.

Still thinkin' about you,
Connie Sue, Connie Sue!
Oh yeah, girl ...
Everything changed but nothin's new.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a memory

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She's My Hottub Hottie (And I'm Her Chest-Puffin', Studmuffin Rooster) (090)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

A real supportive woman,
She's my ego booster.
Makes me feel like a
Chest-puffin', studmuffin rooster.

No, she never tears me down,
Nor speaks about me harshly.
A sweet southern belle;
She always treats me lovingly.

No husband could ever have
A much better partner.
Makes me feel like a
Chest-puffin', studmuffin rooster.

Yeah, she's my hottub hottie,
And I'm her chest-puffin' rooster.
'Came home drunk this mornin';
Now I'm afraid I'm gonna loose her!

Oh yeah, lemme tell ya ...

She's my horny, hottub hottie;
And I'm her chest-puffin', studmuffin rooster.
Yeah, I came home knee-walkin' drunk,
And now I think I'm gonna loose her!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a real hottub hottie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rick's Song (089)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Carried up to heaven
On a moonbeam tonight.
I spoke with Rick one final time,
And now I'm feelin' alright.

He left prematurely
With so much left unsaid.
What an awful empty feeling,
When I first heard he was dead.

Tonight I got to say
All the things in my heart.
At last able to express things
I couldn't since we've been apart.

I was given the gift
Others never receive.
One last chance to see a loved one
After they suddenly leave.

One last chance to express
All the love in my heart.
One final opportunity
To say good-byes as we part.

Oh yeah, I was .....

Carried up to heaven
On a moonbeam tonight.
We said our final good-byes,
As we bathed in heaven's white light.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah .....

Carried up to heaven
On a moonbeam tonight.
We said our final good-byes,
As we bathed in heaven's white light.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the story of Traci and Rick

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Springtime (088)





♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Colorful tulips, hyacinths and daffodils
Warm rays of sunshine, fresh air of springtime
Robins, bluebirds and purple martins
Uplifting spirit and soul sublime

God's good earth once more awakening
New life evident all around
Lush green grass and foliage growing
Scampering rabbits and playful squirrels abound

Oh wonderous season of rebirth
Symphony of wild birds singing
New life springing forth
Bright colors of springtime emerging

A painting rich in color and texture
Cherry pink and apple blossom white
Blooming dogwoods and redbuds under forest canopy
Such a glorious and spectacular sight

Tinkling wind chimes in the soft and gentle wind
Beneath my feet the soft and moist sod
From the rustling leaves a voice whispers to me
Be still and know that I am God


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the new life of springtime

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She Said I Do At The Altar (But Now She Says I Don't In The Bedroom) (087)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

She said "I do"
At the altar,
But now she says "I don't"
In the bedroom.

I don't understand it;
Yeah, I'm confused and frustrated.
My anger and bitterness
Cannot be overstated.

She said "I do"
At the altar,
But now she says "I don't"
In the bedroom.

I suppose she wonders
Why I go fishin' on Sundays,
Why I drink with my friends.
And why I play poker on Mondays.


She said "I do"
At the altar,
But now she says "I don't"
In the bedroom.

I suppose she wonders
Why we no longer spend time together
And why I spend
So much of my time with others.

She said "I do"
At the altar,
But now she says "I don't"
In the bedroom.

Fishin', basketball in the spring,
Golfin', baseball throughout the summer,
Trappin', football during the fall,
Huntin' and snow-mobilin' in the winter.

She said "I do"
At the altar,
But now she says "I don't"
In the bedroom.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry to say
She said "I do"
At the altar.
But now she just says "I don't"
In the bedroom!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by altars and bedrooms

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Shot Of Whiskey And A Beer Chaser (086)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

A shot of whiskey
And a beer chaser.
It's been a rough day,
But now it's over.

A shot of whiskey
And a beer chaser.
Start a tab for me
Mister bartender.

A shot of whiskey
And a beer chaser.
Bad start to the day;
My dog got run over.

A shot of whiskey
And a beer chaser.
At noon I was served
My divorce papers.

A shot of whiskey,
Make it a double.
I'm just tryin' to
Forget my troubles.

Hiccup ..........

I'm gettin' tipsy;
Better pay my tab.
Mister bartender,
Please call me a cab.

Hiccup ..........

Oh yeah!
A shot of whiskey
And a beer chaser!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by memories of a bad day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm Sick And Tired Of Bein' Sick And Tired (085)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I'm gettin' sick and tired
Of bein' sick and tired!
I'm gettin' plumb fed up;
I ain't gonna take it no more!

Gas prices goin' up,
Stock markets goin' down!
Treasury's printin' more money
While unemployment abounds!

Highways all needin' repair,
Bridges are collapsin'!
Eight years later and
We still haven't found Bin Laden!

Loud-mouthed politicians
Always shadin' the truth.
Talking heads on TV
Won't stop spinnin' the news!

Yep, I'm really sick and tired
Of bein' so sick and tired!
Gotta change somethin' soon
'Cause I've had it up to my eyeballs!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Friends, lemme tell y'all ...
Gotta change somethin' soon
'Cause I've had it up to my eyeballs!

Home mortgage foreclosures
And signs of recession!
Many folks startin' to think
We're headin' for a depression!

Trade deficit's growin',
Billions spent in Iraq!
People understandin'
This is money we'll never get back!

Yep, I'm sooooo sick and tired
Of this whole damned mess!
Don't know what I can do,
And I'm really gettin' depressed!

Oh yeah, I'm sick and tired
And I need some relief!
Oh yeah, I'm sick and tired
Of all this misery and grief!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by our incompetent national political leaders

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wishing You All The Very Best! (084)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Wishing you
Green pastures,
Fat cattle,
And healthy horses.

May life bring you
Cool waters,
Cloudless skies,
And fragrant May flowers.

May you always be surrounded by
Missouri bluebirds,
Fields of butterflies,
And warm loving words.

Wishing you
All the very best!
Health, prosperity
And ever-lasting happiness!

Yes, I wish you
All the very best!
Health, prosperity
And ever-lasting happiness!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a little Missouri bluebird on a spring morning
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Don't Think She's Worth Gettin' My Damned Fool Head Shot Clean Off! (083)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I've thought about doin' her
'Cause she's real sexy and hot.
But I hunt with her husband
And he's a pretty good shot.

I've been thinkin' long and hard
How great she'd be in the sack
She came on to me last night;
I came on to her right back!

She's been puttin' out signals
And things are gettin' steamy.
But I'd really hate to lose
My old deer huntin' buddy!

She's sexy and sensual
But he's a right nice fella.
'Guess ya' might say I'm on the
Horns of a BIG dilemna!

I'd like to get her in bed
'Cause she's soooo smokin' red hot!
She's been comin' on real strong,
But her husband's a good shot!

Yep, her husband's a good shot!
Actually he's a damned fine shot!
Oh yeah, he can really shoot!
I ain't never seen him miss!

Oh yeah, I'd better watch out!
I've seen him get pretty rough.
I don't think she's worth gettin'
My head shot completely off!

No, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no!
I don't think she's worth gettin'
My damned fool head shot clean off!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by my huntin' buddy's good lookin' wife
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday, August 7, 2009

A Little Band Of White Gold (082)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I sold my wedding ring
Down at the pawn shop today.
I ain't really sure why,
But it wasn't for the pay!

Just twenty-five dollars
For a round band of white gold.
Nothing was added on
For my memories of old.

It's really kinda strange
But I can still remember
Shopping for our rings on
A cold night in December.

On a Saturday night
That was snowy and chilly,
Amidst Christmas shoppers,
The two of us so happy.

From happiness and joy
All the way to love gone cold.
Jewelry store to pawn shop,
A simple band of white gold.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!
A little band of white gold,
Token of love received,
Taken to a pawn shop and sold!

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!
Taken to a pawn shop and sold!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a simple round band of white gold

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today I'm Wonderin' Where The Hell I Found Her At (081)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Her wrinkles didn't look
So bad under the moonlight.
However this morning,
She's a pretty frightful sight.

We had a few strong drinks
Downtown at the Bel-Air Grill.
We met for the first time
And I think her name is Jill.

She's lookin' kinda rough
And my head's poundin' like hell.
Wrinkled face, rolls of fat,
But last night she looked just swell.

I sure didn't notice,
Her wrinkled face, the rolls of fat.
But now I'm wonderin'
Where the hell I found her at!

Hot and sexy last night,
Wrinkled face and rolls of fat.
Today I'm wonderin'
Where the hell I found her at!

Oh yeah, lemme tell ya' ...
She's unbelievably fat!
And now I'm wonderin'
Where the hell I found her at!

Oh yeah, I'm wonderin'
Where the hell I found her at!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by fat old wrinkled women

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ice Cold Beer And Red Hot Women! (080)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

On the outskirts of town
There's a little tavern
Where my friends all go for
Ice cold beer and red hot women.

So one Saturday night
I went along with them
To check out for myself
The cold beer but mostly the hot women.

Now folks, lemme tell ya'...
In most places I've been
I mostly run into
Warm, flat beer and cold, cold women.

Well, I bought my first draft,
And it sure was ice cold.
But I quickly noticed
All the women there were quite old.

So I asked my buddies
About the hot women,
And they all told me to
Drink my beer and just be patient.

I drank another beer
From a cold, frosty mug.
After about an hour,
I just shook my head and I shrugged.

The beer was nice and cold,
So I had another.
And then a lady placed
Her painted hand on my shoulder.

She didn't look too bad,
So I bought her a beer.
She gave me a big smile
And then she said "Thank you my dear!"

Well, the more beer she drank,
The friendlier she got.
After my fourth or fifth,
She started lookin' really hot!

The beer was icy cold,
And she was gettin' hotter!
Though she had some wrinkles,
It no longer really mattered.

Then, before I knew it,
She was touchin' me all over.
At that stage, she began
Lookin' better and better!

It wasn't much longer,
I left with that red hot woman.
The tavern was jumpin',
And my buddies were just roarin'!

Now friends, listen on up;
Lemme tell ya' somethin'.
That woman taught me things
I just couldn't have imagined!

So when your good buddies
Tell ya' 'bout a tavern
On the outskirts of town,
Go with 'em and see what you can learn.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Little taverns,
Ice cold beer and red hot women!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Just gotta love little taverns,
Ice cold beer and red hot women!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by ice cold beer and red hot women

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gotta Watch Your Tongue! (079)


"A soft answer turneth away wrath; But grievous words stir up anger." Proverbs 15:1

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Nothing is ever
As it first appears.
Control your sharp tongue and
Keep in check your fears.

In all your replies,
Be pleasant and kind.
Slowly deliberate;
Then make up your mind.

Gotta watch your tongue;
This you must remember!
You can't pull words back
Once they're spoken in anger!

Take care to listen
Before you first speak.
Open your mind to the
Clear truth you must seek.

God gave you two ears
But only one mouth.
He wants you to listen
Before speaking out.

Gotta watch your tongue;
This you must remember!
You can't pull words back
Once they're spoken in anger!

If another man
Shouts out angrily,
You must respond to him
Calmly and kindly.

Soft words most often
Repel angry wrath,
While your harsh words lead down
A dangerous path.

Gotta watch your tongue;
This you must remember!
You can't pull words back
Once they're spoken in anger!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the message in Proverbs 15:1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Our One Week, One Night Stand! (078)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Had a smile on my face,
And I was feelin' real grand
On the third or fourth day
Of our one week, one night stand.

I'd lost ten pounds or more,
And I could barely still walk.
Really needed some sleep,
But she just wanted to talk.

One, two and three night stands
Are just absolutely fine,
But she wants commitment
And that really blows my mind!

Too much of a good deal
Ain't always the greatest thing.
But I'll tell ya' this much,
I sure wasn't complaining.

Now, she kept me awake,
Because she wanted to talk.
I couldn't get away;
I was too dang sore to walk.

She said that we ought to
Settle on down together.
She said our one night stands
Would get a whole lot better.

Well, that made me nervous;
I'll just have to admit it.
I mean what could I say?
Told her I'd think about it.

Now, that made her happy,
So we started in all over again!
And folks, lemme tell ya' ...
I'm happier than I've e'er been!

I was so tired and sore,
But she made me feel so grand!
I'll always remember
Our one week, one night stand!

Oh yeah ...

I'll always remember
Our great one week, one night stand!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a great one week, one night stand

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hangovers Ain't So Bad (077)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I'd rather wake up
With a bad hangover
Than see her there in bed
When I roll on over.

Yeah, a hangover
Makes my head hurt for sure,
But seein' her in the mornin'
Makes my eyes hurt even more.

A real bad hangover
Won't last more than a day.
On the otherhand though,
She never goes away.

Lemme tell ya' my friend
Hangovers ain't so bad,
But livin' with her everyday
Is makin' me sad!

Nope, hangovers ain't so bad!
No, hangovers ain't so bad!


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by all the women I'd rather not wake up next to in the morning

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She Was Faster Than A Kentucky Race Horse (But Stubborn As An Old Missouri Mule) (076)


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

She was faster
Than a Kentucky race horse,
But as stubborn
As an old Missouri mule.

She was hotter
Than a barn fire in July,
And I met her
One Friday night shootin' pool.

She was better
Than all of us good ol' boys,
And we didn't
Allow her to bend the rules.

She hit on me
Right up until closing time.
Looking back now,
I guess I was a big fool.

She put her hands
All over me when I shot,
And I could tell
She didn't wanna just play pool.

She took my hand
As I finished my eighth beer,
And she pulled me
Off my perch on the bar stool.

She led me out
To her yellow Jeep Wrangler,
And I sure thought
It was bright, shiny and cool.

She reached over
To unbuckle my belt;
Then she unzipped
My zipper and grabbed my tool.

What she did next
I can't really sing about,
Because that would
Violate FCC rules.

But I can tell y'all this ...

She was faster
Than a Kentucky race horse
But as stubborn
As an old Missouri mule.

Yeah ...

She was faster
Than a Kentucky race horse
But as stubborn
As an old Missouri mule.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by fast women and fast race horses

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~