I'm About As Stinkin' Low As Low Down Can Go (047)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I'm about as stinkin' low
As low down can go.
Don't really know how I can
Go on any mo'.

My wife of eight years ran off
With another man.
That ain't so bad but she took
My new Suburban!

The woman took all my guns,
'Killed my prize boar hog.
Now if that weren't bad enough,
She ran o'er my dog.

Oh yeah, I'm about as low
As low down can go.
Don't really know how I can
Go on any mo'.

Went out and got drunk last night;
My mouth's cotton dry.
On top of all that I got
My third DWI!

And today I lost my job ...
For bein' late I guess.
To top it off, I'm bein' audited
By the IRS!

I'm about as stinkin' low
As low down can go.
Don't even know how I can
Go on any mo'.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by all those real sad, sad country songs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You're Lookin' For Love (Get Yourself A Bluetick Coonhound) (046)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

If you're lookin' for love,
Get yourself a bluetick coonhound.
A dog is man's best friend,
At least that's what I've always found.

Oh yeah, if you're lookin' for love,
Get yourself a bluetick coonhound!

Yeah, he might drool on ya',
And he might howl from time to time.
But he'll always be faithful,
And he'll rarely complain or whine.

Oh yeah, if you're lookin' for love,
Get yourself a bluetick coonhound!

A hound like ol' Smokey
From down in Knoxville, Tennessee.
He won't bite or leave ya',
And those coons he'll 'most always tree.

Oh yeah, if you're lookin' for love,
Get yourself a bluetick coonhound!

Yeah, a purebred bluetick coonhound!
Howooooooooooooooh! Howoooooooooooooh!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a coonhound that loved me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hopin' To Get Lucky With Lucky (045)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I've been workin' all week long,
And now I'm gonna sing you a song.
Yeah, I'm feelin' really fine,
'Cause, Lucky dear, it's partyin' time!

Yeah girl, I'm feelin' alright,
And now at last it's Saturday night.
'Got myself forty dollars,
So why don't we go whoop and holler!

We can drink a few pitchers,
And we can even pitch some washers.
We'll have us a good ol' time,
That is, Lucky, if you're so inclined.

Yeah, I'm feelin' really fine,
'Cause, Lucky dear, it's partyin' time!

Hope you'll dress nice and sexy,
But ya' don't have to get too dressy.
We'll go to the Eagle Hall,
And we'll have us a rip roarin' ball!

Wear some jeans that are skin tight;
'Hopin' this will be my lucky night!
Yeah, I'm a hopin' that it might
Just turn out to be my lucky night!

Put on sweet smellin' perfume,
And black thong panties I will presume.
Let's spend the night together,
You, me and some ice cold Budweiser!

Yeah, I'm feelin' really fine,
'Cause, Lucky dear, it's partyin' time!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫


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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by memories of the times I managed to "get lucky"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Desirable Vintage (044)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Lusciously tasty red wine,
Nature's fruit of the vine.
Voluptuously shaped vessel,
Waterford fine crystal.

Very delightful bouquet,
Exciting everyday.
Always invigorating,
So intoxicating.

Witty and intellectual,
Earthy and sensual.
Red cheeks of Mateus Rosé,
Lips of Elyse Cabernet.

A desirable vintage,
An attractive visage.
She's better than a fine wine,
She's special and she's mine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah ...

A desirable vintage,
An attractive visage.
She's better than a fine wine,
She's special and she's mine.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a desirable vintage

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Slow Dancin' (043)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Slow dancin'
Under the summer moonlight.
Slow dancin'
With my sweet baby tonight.

Moon River,
Glenn Miller's Moonlight Serenade.
Blue Velvet,
And Fly Me To The Moon.

Slow dancin',
My sweetheart and I danced to them all.
Slow dancin'
With my sweet baby doll.

Harbor Lights,
Stranger On The Shore.
A Pretty Girl,
And Moonlight In Vermont.

Slow dancin'
Under the summer moonlight.
Slow dancin'
With my sweet baby tonight.

In The Mood,
Hoagie Carmichael's Stardust.
Moonglow,
And Embraceable You

Slow dancin',
Her head on my shoulder.
Swayin' to the rthymn,
My heart beating faster.

Hair so soft,
Perfume fragrance sweet.
Big green eyes,
She stands just five foot three.

Slow dancin'
Under the summer moonlight.
Slow dancin'
With my sweet baby tonight.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by memories of slow dancin'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sharin' Coffee And Sharin' Dreams (042)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

'Woke up this mornin',
Smellin' the coffee brew.
'Wasn't too long,
I got to thinkin' 'bout you.

Past summer mornin's,
Out on our patio.
Watchin' the birds,
Sippin' a hot cup o' jo.

Sharin' coffee,
And sharin' our dreams.
We shared a life together,
Just yesterday it seems.

Mornin' sun risin',
Horizon clear and blue.
That fresh aroma
Still reminds me of you.

Aroma that fills
The early mornin' air.
Memories still linger,
But you're no longer here.

Sharin' coffee
And sharin' our dreams.
We shared a life together,
Just yesterday it seems.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by mornings out on the patio sippin' a hot cup o' jo

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A Mixed-Up Medley In My Mixed-Up Musical Memory (041)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Come Fly Me To The Moon
In the Beatle's Yellow Submarine,
Up Andy's Moon River,
Wider than a mile, a stunning scene.

Rainy Night In Georgia,
I'm sittin' on The Dock Of The Bay.
I just happened to meet,
The Girl From Ipanema today.

Well, she wore Blue Velvet,
Bluer than velvet just like tonight.
A Stranger On The Shore
Walked by me under the Harbor Lights.

It was just a year ago,
I Left My Heart In San Francisco.
She's Always On My Mind;
Now I'm careful, takin' things real slow.

I just can't wait to be
With you, my sweet Embraceable You.
My Funny Valentine,
I'm Gettin' Sentimental O'er You.

You've got me In The Mood
To buy you a great big diamond ring.
A Pretty Girl's like a melody,
And Love Is A Many Splendored Thing.

Ev'rybody Loves Somebody
And I'm really crazy about you.
Sure wish you'd get here soon
Before I get The Saint Louis Blues.

I'm sittin' on the curb,
Wearin' Levi jeans and Blue Suede Shoes.
Whistlin' Love Me Tender,
Nights In White Satin by the Moody Blues.

Though the night is clear, the moon yellow,
And the autumn leaves are tumblin' down . . .
I ain't seen Stagger Lee and Billy
Even though I Get Around.

The Moonglow here is like
Moonlight In Vermont this time o' year.
Whiskey River ain't run dry,
Willie drinks whiskey n' I drink beer.

Stardust fell from the sky,
And it reminded me of Hoagie.
I sang As Time Goes By
And I thought of Ingrid and Bogie.

If ya' don't get here soon,
You're a Hound Dog rockin' all the time,
Never caught a rabbit,
You ain't gonna be a friend of mine!

I'm gonna give up soon
'Cause I ain't desperate or Crazy.
And I damned sure won't be
Walkin' After Midnight like Patsy.

So I'm just tellin' you,
I'm gonna give up on ya' real soon.
And go Up, Up And Away
In my beautiful, beautiful balloon.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by some of my favorite music

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elephants, Donkeys And Moronic Media Monkeys (040)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Here we go once again,
Another election campaign.
Elephants and donkeys,
Moronic media monkeys.

Silver-haired grandfather
Who can't read a teleprompter.
Young guy from Chicago
Says 'Yes We Can' while on the go.

Lots of red, white and blue,
Lies and promises, quite a few.
Great big problems to fix,
Many surrogates who are pricks.

'Reckon we'll muddle thru,
I sure as hell ain't gonna stew.
'Just hope we can survive
Until I turn seventy-five.

Oh, and did I mention,
Got no cash or old-age pension.
Just hopin' n' prayin'
Social Secur'ty stays solvent.

Neither candidate cares
Much about my damned Medicare.
At five bucks a gallon,
I can't afford lots of drivin'.

Spent too much in Iraq,
Don't think we'll ever get it back.
Scrapin' to make ends meet,
Too many jobs shipped overseas.

McCain and Obama,
TV pundits building drama.
Real change promised by each,
But still they drain us like leeches.

Think I'll sit this one out,
I ain't inclined to even vote.
'Lost my faith, lost my hope,
Don't think I'll support either dope!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the 2008 General Election and Arlo Guthrie protest songs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gone Are The Days (And Gone Are The Nights) (039)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Gone are the days
Of our long lost innocence.
The times we spent together,
And all they once meant.

Gone are the nights
Filled with passion and pleasure.
Cradled in each other's arms,
Our bodies on fire.

Mem'ries of you
Vividly clear and sublime.
Moments in eternity
Now etched in my mind.

Gone are the days,
And gone as well are the nights.
I think of you at sunset,
And when the full moon shines bright.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Gone are the days,
And gone are the nights!
Gone are the days,
And gone are the nights!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by those days and nights that are long gone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A July 4th Fish Story (038)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

'Twas the 4th of July,
And the catfish were bitin'.
Stink bait, chicken gizzards,
A hundred-pounder fightin'.

Dang near had him netted,
When he gave one last big jerk.
Well he broke my line and
I just about went bizerk!

I reached for a cold beer;
'Thought I'd cool down just a bit.
Strong wind blew from the east;
Couldn't get my cigar lit.

Then I saw him surface,
Biggest channel cat ever!
I tied on a sharp hook
And a big one ounce sinker.

No time to drink Bud Light,
Nor light my White Owl cigar.
I finally found out
Where those big ol' catfish are!

'Got so doggone excited,
I fell outa my darned boat.
Without my life jacket,
I just couldn't even float.

I yelled and I hollered,
But no one else was around.
Floppin' and a flalin',
I thought I was goin' down.

Well, I must've kicked that
Ol' channel cat in the head.
When he came floatin' up,
I could see that he was dead.

He was bigger than me;
Must've weighed a hundred pounds.
I held onto him tight,
And we floated all around.

When we got to the bank,
I drug him from the water.
'Had to get him home quick
'Cause it was gettin' hotter.

A man came drivin' along
In a beat-up Wrangler Jeep.
He wanted to know where
I'd caught that fish and how deep.

I made up a story
That wasn't too tall nor loose,
'Cause I knew he'd never
Believe the God's honest truth.

Oh yeah, lemme tell ya'....

'Twas the 4th of July,
And the catfish were bitin'.
Stink bait, chicken gizzards,
A hundred-pounder fightin'.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by boyhood fishing memories on the Missouri River

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Wish You Love (And All The Best That Love Brings) (037)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Love is fragile,
And love is strong.
Why can something so right
Sometimes go oh so wrong?

Love is bitter,
And love is sweet.
The joy of victory,
Tears of bitter defeat.

A complex blend,
True love is pure.
So unpredictable,
Never, ever for sure.

Love is fleeting,
And love endures.
Passionate, sudden, brash,
So gentle and demure.

Love is happy,
And love is blue.
They say love will always
Carry you right on through.

Love conquers all,
Yet love submits.
Oh yeah, true love persists;
It never, never quits.

Love just happens;
It can't be planned.
When the magic happens,
Two hearts will be opened.

Love is patient,
And love is kind.
Love suddenly commands
Both the heart and the mind.

Love can be here;
Love can be there.
While it is everywhere,
Sometimes love is nowhere.

Love was back then;
Love is right now.
And love seems to survive
'Though we don't know quite how.

Love marches forth,
And love retreats.
Love is capable of
Many amazing feats.

Love will find you,
And quench your thirst.
Oh yeah, love will find you
If you don't find love first.

I wish you love,
And happy things.
I wish you love, my dear,
All the best that love brings.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by thoughts of love and all that love brings

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sweet September Kiss (036)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

The moon, the stars above,
On a clear, still autumn night.
How beautiful you were
Under that glimmering light.

And I still remember
Our very first awkward kiss.
That exciting moment,
And my feeling of pure bliss.

Oh, sweet September kiss,
How well I still remember.
Our sweet September love,
So pure, gentle, and tender.

Our tender, warm embrace,
Yeah, I'll always remember.
A crisp, cool, moonlit night,
It was early September.

The moon was round and full;
We were back in school again.
My memory's still clear;
How many years it has been!

Oh, sweet September kiss,
How well I still remember.
Our sweet September love,
So pure, gentle, and tender.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the memory of a September kiss

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This Deep, Dark Abyss (035)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Yesterday's reality
Is today's fantasy.
I'm lost all alone with
Diminished capacity.

All the many twists and turns,
The roadmap of my mind.
Sign posts and exit ramps
That I can no longer find.

Staring down into this deep
Dark bottomless abyss.
A darker shade of black,
Never thought it'd come to this.

Seems I'm no longer useful
In this fast movin' world.
I no longer feel loved
By my boy or my two girls.

Sittin' here wastin' away,
Seems no one really cares.
All I do now is sit
In my room alone and stare.

I don't even know the time
Nor the day of the week.
Strapped here in my wheelchair,
Must look like a dreadful freak.

This will all come to an end;
It can't be soon enough.
'Til that day finally comes,
Gotta be patient and tough.

Wonder what it'll be like
O'er on the other side?
Will this deep, dark abyss
Become a bright, warm white light?

Will this deep, dark abyss
Become a bright, warm white light?

Will this deep, dark abyss
Become a bright, warm white light?

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by elderly residents in a nursing home and the thoughts I imagine they must have

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Stay With Me Baby (034)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I've forgiven her,
But I just can't forget.
Can't seem to go on;
No I can't, not just yet.

Twistin' in the wind,
Memories o' the past.
Guess we can be friends,
If we don't go too fast.

Hope you'll understand
About my broken heart.
Pleasure meetin' you;
Seems we had a good start.

The pain of a loss
Hangs around way too long.
As I think back now,
Reckon we were both wrong.

That's all in the past,
And now she's gone away.
Maybe you and I
Can begin a new day.

Tried a lot o' things
To chase away the pain.
You are the sunshine
To drive away the rain.

But hon, like I said,
Think we should take it slow.
Stay with me baby;
Be patient, please don't go.

Oh yeah ...

Stay with me baby;
Oh hon, please don't ya' go!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the experience of not being able to move on

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There Ain't No First-Aid Kit For A Broken Heart (033)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

A J & J band-aid
Just won't mend a broken heart.
Bayer aspirin won't ease the pain
When two young lovers part.

Pfizer has yet to find
The cure for hearts torn apart.
And The Red Cross still ain't got a
First-aid kit for your heart.

Though Watkins salve is good,
It won't heal the awful hurt.
Soap n' water won't clean the wound
When you're feelin' like dirt.

No, my friend ...

There ain't no first-aid kit
For an achin' breakin' heart.
It's just gonna take time to mend
Injuries of that sort.

There ain't no first-aid kit
For an achin' breakin' heart.
It's just gonna take time to mend
Injuries of that sort.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the experience of an achin' breakin' heart

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Can't Stop Lovin' You; 'Can't Stop Wantin' You (032)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

'Can't stop lovin' you,
Even though I've tried.
'Can't stop wantin' you,
This I won't deny.

My mind keeps sayin'
I gotta move on.
But my heart just won't
Let me break the bond.

'Can't stop lovin' you,
Though I wish I could.
'Can't stop wantin' you,
Though I know I should.

I can't forget you;
You're still on my mind.
My heart is achin';
These are lonesome times.

'Can't stop lovin' you;
'Guess I never will.
'Can't stop wantin' you;
I desire you still!

Oh yeah ...

'Can't stop lovin' you;
'Guess I never will.
'Can't stop wantin' you;
I desire you still!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the memories of a broken heart

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cowboys Never Cry, And Happy Songs Don't Sell (031)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Gentlemen don't swear,
Ladies don't kiss n' tell,
Cowboys never cry,
And happy songs don't sell.

Willie sings about
Apprehension n' fear,
Hard whiskey drinkin',
Lonesome heartache and tears.

Patsy went crazy,
Crazy for feelin' blue,
For feelin' lonely,
Crazy for lovin' you.

Gentlemen don't swear,
Ladies don't kiss n' tell,
Cowboys never cry,
And happy songs don't sell.

Bocephus parties
With all his rowdy friends,
And Ol' Hank's got a
Whirlpool just made for ten.

Johnny Cash got stuck
Out in Folsom Prison,
But that train kept a rollin'
On down to San Antone.

Gentlemen don't swear,
Ladies don't kiss n' tell,
Cowboys never cry,
And happy songs don't sell.

Waylon's good-hearted woman
Loved a good-timin' man.
She loved him in spite of
His ways she didn't understand.

Loretta was born
A coal miner's daughter.
In a lil' cabin on a hill
In Butcher Holler.

Gentlemen don't swear,
Ladies don't kiss n' tell,
Cowboys never cry,
And happy songs don't sell.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a lot of sad country songs I've heard on a lot of juke boxes in a lot of beer joints

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Missouri Moment In Time (030)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Missouri moonlit summer night,
Stars in the heavens shining bright.
Twinkling reflection in your eyes,
The burning passion of our sighs.

Holding you in my arms real tight,
My world is feelin' oh so right.
Gettin' to be more than good friends,
I don't want this moment to end.

Missouri gentle summer breeze,
The soothing sound of rustlin' leaves.
Your silky smooth skin touching mine,
Don't think I've ever felt this fine.

Two young lovers 'neath the starlight,
A warm Missouri summer night.
Tender kisses loving n' sweet,
Look of desire as our eyes meet.

Missouri moment, stay with me;
Your beautiful face I still see.
Missouri moment, ne'er before
Have I loved or been loved any more.

Oh yeah, lemme tell ya ...

Missouri moment, stay with me;
Your beautiful face I still see.
Missouri moment, ne'er before
Have I loved or been loved any more.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a Missouri moment in time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life Ain't Easy (029)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Have you ever
Felt down-hearted?
Did you ever
Wanna break down and cry?

Have you ever
Been down and out?
Did you ever
Wanna lay down and die?

Have you ever
Been real depressed?
Did you ever
Worry all through the night?

Have you ever
Spoken harshly?
Did you ever
Regret a silly fight?

Life ain't easy,
And life ain't fair.
But life works out best
When you love, when you care.

Yeah, life works out best
When you love, when you care.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a few bumps along the road of life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Say You'll Never Leave Me (028)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Say you'll never leave me;
Tell me your love is true.
Promise you'll love me forever,
Even if you can't say "I do!"

Having loved and lost before,
We both understand the stakes.
Love begins with happiness
But often ends with heartache.

So, my dear, let's take it slow;
Let's build upon our friendship.
By speaking kind and loving words,
We'll cement our relationship.

And then perhaps some fine day,
We'll trust our hearts once more.
Our broken hearts will be mended,
And our souls shall be restored.

Oh yeah!

Say you'll never leave me;
Tell me your love is true.
Promise you'll love me forever,
Even if you can't say "I do!"

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by life's observations and life's experiences

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Ain't Got The Balls To Go Off Half-Cocked (027)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I ain't got the balls
To go off half-cocked.
I mind my own business,
Don't start no barroom fights.

I sit quietly at the bar
And drink my beer.
I keep my trap shut,
And I rarely interfere.

But then she walked in ...
It was a Friday night.
Three ice-cold bottles of Bud,
And I was feelin' alright.

She sat up on a stool
Right next to Billy Joe.
'Fore long, ol' Billy hit on her,
But the lady told him "NO!"

Well, I had me a fourth Bud
And listened in on the conversation.
Ol' Billy was persistent;
Used all his powers of persuasion.

I ain't got the balls
To go off half-cocked.
I mind my own business,
Don't start no barroom fights.

After awhile, I got tired
Of ol' Billy's badgerin'.
So I got up n' went o'er there;
Said "Billy, how ya' doin'?"

Said "I've just been noticin'
You're botherin' this nice lady.
Think ya' oughta quit drinkin'
And just go on n' leave her be."

Ol' Billy didn't take real kindly
To my polite suggestion.
He got up off his bar stool,
Took a swing at me right there n' then!

Well, I was lucky enough to duck
And ol' Billy stumbled and fell.
He hit his head on a table,
And that really rang his bell!

I ain't got the balls
To go off half-cocked.
I mind my own business,
Don't start no barroom fights.

Then I said to the lady
"C'mon, let's get outta here!
Let's go across the river;
We can talk and drink some more beer."

Well, to my amazement,
She smiled at me and said "YES!"
I think she thought I was gentleman;
At least, that's what I guess.

We had a lovely evening
Just talkin' about this and that.
It seemed we had a certain chemistry,
Almost like we were soulmates.

Jane and I kept on talkin'
Right up to last call and closin'.
Then I drove her back to her car,
Where we said goodnight after some huggin' n' kissin'.

No, I ain't got the balls
To go off half-cocked.
I mind my own business,
Don't start no barroom fights.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a gal named Jane and a few too many Budweisers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Ain't The Biggest And I Ain't The Best (026)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I ain't the biggest,
And I ain't the best.
I'm pretty much
Just like all the rest.

I ain't no rockstar,
And I ain't no pornstar.
Ain't got no yacht,
No fancy sports car.

Wear a big brass belt buckle,
Drive a pick-up truck.
Like to drink beer,
And I like to f&^k!

C'mon give me a call
When you get a chance.
We'll drink some beer,
And maybe we'll dance.

Oh yeah, sweetie pie!

I ain't the biggest,
And I ain't the best.
I'm pretty much
Just like all the rest.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a few moments of silliness .... and a six-pack of Bud Light

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She's Got Ten Tattoos, Five Body Piercings, A Couple Silicone Breast Implants And A Tummy Tuck (025)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

She's a transgendered,
Bi-polar, bi-lingual, bi-racial, bi-sexual
Erotic pole dancer from East St. Louis......

But I brought her home to Mom anyway.

She can't sew, can't cook,
Can't clean, can't iron a shirt,
And she can't hold her liquor......

But I introduced her to Dad on Fathers Day.

She's got ten tattoos,
Five body piercings, a couple silicone breast implants,
And a tummy tuck......

But she's still one helluva lay!

She's a 38-24-36,
25 year-old nympho-babe with a '57 T-Bird,
A 10 million dollar trust account......

And we're gettin' married in May.

Now, you might think
I'm a foolish, impulsive, gold-diggin'
Dirty old man......

But I don't really care what you say!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a few moments of silliness .... and a six-pack of Bud Light

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drivin' Down The Highways And Biways Of My Mind (024)

"There are no off-ramps or exits on the highways and biways of the human mind. Thoughts just keep rollin' around until they finally run out of gas and pull over on the shoulder of forgotten memories." Truman T. Tiger

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Drivin' down the
Highways and biways of my mind,
I've sure thought about you
Off n' on, from time to time.

O'er all these many years,
I've never found an off-ramp or exit.
After all this time,
I just can't seem to forget.

I suspect that someday
My thoughts will run out of energy.
And then they'll pull over on
The shoulder of forgotten memories.

Yeah, someday I'm gonna
Be able to forget you at last.
Oh yeah babe, someday I'm gonna
Just run out of gas.

I'm drivin' down
The highways and biways of my mind.
And girl, I want ya' to know,
I sure do think 'bout ya' from time to time.

Yeah, I sure do think 'bout you
Off and on, from time to time!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a distant but recurring memory

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dance With Me, Cindi (023)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Dance with me, my sweet,
Under the Florida moonlight.
Come closer, my dear,
And hold me really tight.

Dance with me, Cindi,
Under the Florida moonlight,
Oh lemme tell ya it feels so good;
Babe, it feels so right!

Move your hips to the rthymn
Of the palm trees swaying.
Listen closely to the sound
Of the gentle waves lapping.

Dance with me, Cindi,
Under the Florida moonlight,
Oh lemme tell ya it feels so good;
Babe, it feels so right!

Press your rosy warm cheek
Softly up against mine.
Move your body I desire
In perfect, sensuous time.

Dance with me, Cindi,
Under the Florida moonlight,
Oh lemme tell ya it feels so good;
Babe, it feels so right!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a gal named Cindi from Florida

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ain't Got No Money No Mo' (022)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Ain't got no gold or silver
For Obama to take from me.
Ain't got no gold nor silver;
I'm just a yearnin' to be free!

Ain't got no money no mo',
'Cause Wall Street's done gone busted.
Nope, ain't got money no mo';
It just ain't fair, ain't no justice!

Ain't go no money no mo',
'Cause I lost my good payin' job.
Ain't got no money no mo';
I just wanna get drunk and sob.

Ain't got no money no mo',
And the bank foreclosed on my house.
Ain't got no money no mo';
I feel poorer than a church mouse.

Ain't got no money no mo',
And my 401(k)'s hurtin'.
Ain't got no money no mo';
And my future is uncertain.

Ain't got no money no mo';
The bank repossessed my truck.
Ain't got no money no mo';
Guess you might say I'm really f*&%ed!

Ain't go no money no mo',
And this ain't a recession.
Ain't go no money no mo';
It's the second Great Depression.

Whoa is me! Oh, whoa is me!
I ain't go no money no mo'!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by Woodie Guthrie's Depression Era songs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Relationships (021)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Relationships start,
And relationships end.
In every single case,
Strive to make a new friend.

Whatever happens then,
No one can foresee.
Whether they will stay,
Or whether they will flee.

Friendship may blossom
Into love I suppose.
But love can also wilt
Like the petals of a rose.

Expect the best of others,
And prepare for the worst.
Offer love and kindness,
But become good friends first.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the ups and downs of relationships

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Come Softly Love (020)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Love comes softly,
A whisper and a kiss.
Flirtatious smile,
And a tender caress.

Love comes gently,
Like a soft summer breeze.
Warm, refreshing,
Rustling the tree top leaves.

But when it leaves,
Love walks away proudly.
Harsh angry words,
Doors slammed behind loudly.

Come softly love,
Whisper to me sweetly.
Stay for awhile,
Don't leave so abruptly.

Come softly love,
Stay with me for awhile.
Come gently love,
And warm me for awhile.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a memory

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On The Wings Of A Dove (019)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

A lonely heart aches,
As well it should.
Her tender heart breaks,
Because it's pure and good.

Friendship came softly,
Sent from above.
Love left abruptly,
On the wings of a dove.

Yeah, love flew away
On the wings of a dove.
His love flew away
On the wings of a dove.

Yeah, love flew away
On the wings of a dove.
His love flew away
On the wings of a dove.

When it comes again,
She'll be cautious,
Most likely timid
And a bit suspicious.

When love comes again,
She'll guard her heart.
Though love comes softly,
It may suddenly part.

Yeah, love flew away
On the wings of a dove.
His love flew away
On the wings of a dove.

Yeah, love flew away
On the wings of a dove.
His love flew away
On the wings of a dove.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by life's observations

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bob's Place (018)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I stopped at Bob's Place
For a couple drinks tonight.
Bob was the only one there;
Somethin' just wasn't right.

"Where's your usual crowd, Bob?"
I asked as I sipped my beer.
"Business is really down!" he said.
"There's a whole lot of fear!"

"Word is there will be layoffs
Down at the paper mill.
Business is way down;
And there ain't no orders to fill."

"That's a doggone shame,"
I said to my friend Bob.
"Don't know what we'll do
Without all those good payin' jobs!"

"I know what you mean,"
Bob responded back to me.
"I'm really worried about where
We're goin' in our country."

And that's when I said .....

"Gonna have to tighten our belts,
Cut back where we can.
Gonna have to economize,
Finally draw a line in the sand."

"Government's out of control;
Times are gettin' real tough.
We ain't gonna take it no more;
Enough is enough!"

Bob agreed with me .....

"Gonna have to tighten our belts,
Cut back where we can.
Gonna have to economize,
Finally draw a line in the sand."

"Government's out of control;
Times are gettin' real tough.
We ain't gonna take it no more;
Enough is enough!"

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the Bush-Obama recession

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It Seems Like We Only Just Said Hello (017)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Don't say goodbye;
I don't want you to go.
Sweetheart, it seems like
We only just said hello.

I can't go on,
If you leave me right now.
Can't live without you;
No, I just don't see how.

But if ya' leave,
I wish you all the best.
I'll always love you
Much more than all the rest.

Please don't say goodbye;
Don't go breakin' my heart.
Just can't imagine
You and I bein' apart.

Don't say goodbye;
I don't want you to go.
Sweetheart, it seems like
We only just said hello.

My dear, it seems like
We only just said hello.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a few beginnings and a few endings

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just Two Broken Hearts (016)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Just two broken hearts,
Two tortured, lonely souls.
By some chance we met;
Only God knows how and why.

Two damaged people,
Sad and broken spirits.
Feelings rekindled,
Though we didn't even try.

For some odd reason,
Our lives crossed paths.
And we knew right a way
There was a very strong tie.

Just two broken hearts,
Lost in the world alone.
We found one another
And love we had never known.

Yeah, we found each other
And the love we'd never known.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a friend with another broken heart

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Green Eyes (015)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Alluring, inviting,
So wild and exciting.
Intense and penetrating,
Green eyes piercing my soul.

Hypnotic, exotic,
Carnal and erotic.
Sensual, raw and rythmic,
Green eyes dancing with me.

Slowly building tension,
Hotly burning passion.
Ravenous expression,
Green eyes consuming me.

Green eyes urging me on,
Green eyes touching my core.
Green eyes rocking my world,
Green eyes begging for more.

Oh yeah, pretty green eyes,
Please take all of me.
Oh yeah, lovely green eyes,
Come take all of me!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a green-eyed lady

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We Gotta Make Peace, Muthafuckas! (014)

I know a heavy-metal rocker from another blog site. His username is 'Sorceror07', but I call him 'Sorce'. 'Sorce' plays bass guitar; he's got long hair, tatoos, and he wears lots of black leather. This is the war protest song I wrote for him and his band.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

***Lead-in LOUD bass guitar solo by Sorce***

And then Sorce begins to sing with a video collage of war and starvation projected onto a big screen behind him ...

There's war and famine all o'er the world;
The killin' and diein' have just gotta stop.
IEDs explodin', children starvin,
AK-47 assault rifles pop.

Lay down your guns; put all your bombs away.
Beat your tempered steel swords into plow shares.
Let us wage war no more, muthafuckas;
We can make peace if we will only dare.

Yeah, we gotta make peace, muthafuckas!
Death, hunger and diein', what's it all for?
Yeah, we gotta make peace, muthafuckas!
Gotta feed the children and stop the wars!

***EVEN LOUDER bass guitar solo by Sorce (amps maxed out)***

Suicide bombings, gruesome beheadings;
Children diein' of AIDs and starvation.
This shit is so sick but it still goes on;
Where the hell is the United Nations?

Rocket propelled grenades so plentiful,
Barely a cup of rice for a child to eat.
Instead of funding new weapon systems,
We gotta grow vegetables, corn, and wheat.

Yeah, we gotta make peace, muthafuckas!
Death, hunger and diein', what's it all for?
Yeah, we gotta make peace, muthafuckas!
Gotta feed the children and stop the wars!

***EAR-SPLITTING chorus by the whole band***

Brave young soldiers doin' all they are asked;
So many returnin' home in a pine box.
The children, they keep starvin' and diein'
From malnutrition, typhoid and smallpox.

Our new President promised to bring CHANGE,
And he made us believe that YES WE CAN
But our brave young troops keep on fightin'
Al-Qaeda and the fuckin' Taliban.

Yeah, we gotta make peace, muthafuckas!
Death, hunger and diein', what's it all for?
Yeah, we gotta make peace, muthafuckas!
Gotta feed the children and stop the wars!

***Sorce fires a continuous burst of fire from an AK-47 assault rifle above the heads of the adoring, frenzied crowd of groupies while the drummer pounds the hell out of his bass drum and ignites a concussion bomb on the stage as the band builds to a crezendo***

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by 'Sorceror07', a heavy-metal rocker

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm Drinkin' Cheap Whiskey (013)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

The times they sure are tough;
I've been drinkin' cheap whiskey.
Ten High, Old Charter,
Old Crow and Old McCloskey.

I'm hankerin' for some
Jack Daniels or Wild Turkey!
Gonna buy me a bottle
When I win the lottery.

Yeah, times are really tough;
And I'm drinkin' cheap whiskey.
Ten High, Old Charter,
Old Crow and Old McCloskey.

I'm gonna celebrate
When I get back on my feet.
I just can't wait to say ...
Three fingers, Crown Royal neat.

Yeah, times are really tough;
And I'm drinkin' cheap whiskey.
Ten High, Old Charter,
Old Crow and Old McCloskey.

Just got my hours reduced;
And I'm drinkin' cheap whiskey.
Ten High, Old Charter,
Old Crow and Old McCloskey.

Yeah, times are really tough;
And I'm drinkin' cheap whiskey.
Ten High, Old Charter,
Old Crow and Old McCloskey.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by hard times and cheap whiskey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Legend of the Right Reverend Rotund One (012)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Come gather 'round, my good friends;
Lemme tell y'all a true story.
Tis 'bout a pontificatin' man,
One who basks in imagined glory.

A self-ordained man o' the cloth,
A legend in his own mind.
A gun totin' man o' the clergy,
He's definitely one of a kind.

He's ornery and contrary;
I suspect he weighs a quarter ton.
Intolerant and belligerent,
The Right Reverend Rotund One.

On politics and world affairs,
The Right Reverend oft does opine.
Grizzled, grumpy, gruff and ill-tempered,
He snarls, barks, growls, snaps, and whines.

Other opinions and viewpoints,
The Right Reverend does not seek.
He projects confidence and strength,
Yet he's really insecure and weak.

He's ornery and contrary;
I suspect he weighs a quarter ton.
Intolerant and belligerent,
The Right Reverend Rotund One.

He makes many proclamations,
Ridiculing and judging others harshly.
Increasingly irrelevant,
Yet the Rotund One blows loudly.

With nothing more productive to do,
He pokes fun and makes mindless jokes.
He plays with his Ruger handguns,
Drinks cheap beer and takes a few tokes.

Yep, he's ornery and contrary;
I suspect he weighs a quarter ton.
Intolerant and belligerent,
The Right Reverend Rotund One.

He's gottin' old and paranoid;
Spooks n' goblins he sees all around.
He's afraid of his own shadow,
A huge one since he weighs 500 pounds.

His beard's gottin' gray n' burly,
His ass big, fat and wide.
He rants, spits and he rails,
More than most folks can abide.

Yep, he's ornery and contrary;
I suspect he weighs a quarter ton.
Intolerant and belligerent,
The Right Reverend Rotund One.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Intolerant and belligerent.
Irreverent and malevolent,
The Right Reverend Rotund One.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
The Right Reverend Rotund One.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a fat bully from Delaware

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Madder Than A Wet Hen In Texas (011)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I'm madder than a wet hen in Texas,
And I ain't gonna take it no more.
Suzie Q. ran off with Billy Bob,
And now I'm gonna settle the score.

She told me she hadn't been foolin' 'round,
But I learned the truth last Friday night.
'Caught her n' Billy Bob goin' at it,
A despicable, disappointin' sight.

I'm gunnin' fer him with my .44;
Don't know where I'll catch him or just when.
But when I find that dirty scoundrel,
'Gonna turn him from a rooster into a hen.

Yep, I'm madder than a wet hen in Texas;
And I ain't a gonna take it no more.
Suzie Q. ran off with Billy Bob,
And now I'm gonna settle the score.

I'm gonna blow his testicles right off,
And I ain't at all one bit reluctant.
I figure Billy Bob's got it comin';
That low-down, disgustin' sycophant!

Don't know if Suzie Q. and I'll make it;
I still love her though she's been unfaithful.
She's a hot, horny, steamy sexpot,
And her hooters are more than a mouthful.

Yep, I'm madder than a wet hen in Texas;
And I ain't a gonna take it no more.
Suzie Q. ran off with Billy Bob,
And now I'm gonna settle the score.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by Suzie Q. from Texas

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Miss That Belly-Rubbin' Music (And I Sure Am Missin' My Baby) (010)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Love that belly-rubbin' music,
Swayin' with my gal to and fro.
But when the band plays those fast ones,
You'll find me sippin' bourbon real slow.

Whether it's Elvis, Sinatra,
Glenn Miller or Willie Nelson,
Dancin' cheek to cheek and up close,
Now that's my idea of great fun.

Went dancin' last Saturday night,
Just my sweetheart baby and me.
The band played lots of rock n' roll,
And I drank too much of that whiskey.

I ain't really proud to tell ya',
But folks, I got knee-walkin' drunk.
My sweet baby's gone and left me,
And now I'm in a heck of a funk.

Won't be slow dancin' for awhile,
'Cause my sweetheart's gone and left me.
I'm missin' that slow dance music,
And I sure am missin' my baby.

I won't be dancin' cheek to cheek,
'Cause my sweetheart's gone and left me.
I miss that belly-rubbin' music,
And I sure am missin' my baby.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by MzHuny of northern Kentucky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Walking Hand In Hand (009)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Early morning twilight calm,
Gentle waves lapping white sand.
Two happy and loving souls,
Walking together hand in hand.

Sunshine on the horizon,
Wind blowing over the land.
Undaunted they continued,
Walking together hand in hand.

An entire life before them,
Footprints left in wet sand.
Two carefree and loving souls,
Walking together hand in hand.

Today on their ring fingers,
Each wore a shiny gold band.
Undaunted they continued,
Walking together hand in hand.

A few words spoken about
Yesterday's wedding so grand.
Two young newlyweds in love,
Walking together hand in hand.

And now many years later,
One walks that same beach again.
Separated for a time,
Forever walking hand in hand.

Their footprints now washed away,
No longer preserved in the sand.
Two beautiful loving souls
Forever walking hand in hand.

Two beautiful loving souls,
Forever walking hand in hand.
Together eternally,
Forever walking hand in hand.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a very special lady

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shine Your Light On Me (008)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Make the raindrops
... go away;
Chase the dark clouds
... from the sky.
Kick my sadness
... to the curb;
And wash the tears
... from my eyes.

Make the cold rain
... stop falling;
Chase these lonesome blues
... away.
Mend my broken heart
... tomorrow;
And restore my soul
... today.

Give my voice
... a cheery song;
Focus my life
... on You above.Let my spirit
... soar once more;
And fill my heart
... with joy and love.

Talk to me, Lord;
... I need your help.
Come into my life,
... and help me cope.Lord, shine your light
... on me.
Give me purpose
... and give me hope.

Yeah, shine your light
... on me.
Give me purposeShine your ever-lovin' light
... on me.
Give me purpose
... and give me hope.

... and give me hope.


♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a sweet Carolina southern belle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All The Best Songs Have Been Sung By Willie And The King (007)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I sat down to write a love song,
But I couldn't think of a thing.
All of the really good ones
Have been sung by Willie and The King.

From 'Blue Eyes Cryin' In The Rain'
To 'Love Me Tender, Love Me True',
All my favorites have been sung;
I just don't know what I can do.

Don't think I'll ever write a song
As good as 'Always On My Mind'.
And I don't think I'll ever top
'All Shook Up' or 'Sweet Caroline'.

I know it's just my opinion, but ...
Willie and The King were the best.
Ya can't beat Willie and Elvis;
They were better than all the rest.

I know it's just my opinion, but ...
Willie and The King were the best.
Ya just can't beat Willie or Elvis;
They were better than all the rest.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Willie and The King;
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Willie and The King.
Willie's still ridin' his tour bus,
And Elvis has left the building!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by Willie and The King

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Stayin' Together Is The Hardest Darned Thing I've Never Learned How In The World To Do! (006)

This one would be just perfect for Willie Nelson!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Stayin' together
Is a might side harder
Than meetin' up
And gettin' together.

It ain't real easy
For folks to stay hitched up
Through every kind
Of foul stormy weather.

I've gone and tried it
A time or two or three;
So far to date
I ain't been successful.

Reckon I'll give up
Tryin', frettin', failin';
Stayin' together
Is pretty darned doubtful.

Stayin' together
Is the hardest darned thing
I've never learned
How in the world to do!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Stayin' together
Is the hardest darned thing
I've never learned
How in the world to do!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the life and times of my hero, Willie Nelson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ain't Gettin' Burned No More (005)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Woke up in a fever,
Hotter than a pot belly stove.
Temperature risin',
Into the burnin' fire I dove.

My hair and eyebrows singed,
My heart and soul consumed by flames.
I learned my lesson well ...
Gonna stay away from those dames.

Yep, stayin' clear of those dames;
I've been burned one time too often.
Friend, if ya get too close,
You can get burned by the oven.

Stayin' clear of those dames;
Passin' time golfin' n' fishin'.
Ain't gettin' burned no more;
At least that's what I'm a wishin'.

Yep, I've made up my mind;
I'm stayin' away from women.
Ain't gettin' burned no more;
I'm happy golfin' n' fishin'.

Yeah, yeah, yeah ....

Ain't gettin' burned no more;
I just ain't gettin' burned no more.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Influenced by life's observations (and a few painful personal experiences)

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Summer In The South (004)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Tossing and turning
All through the long lonesome night.
Dreaming about Patty,
Our walk in the pale moonlight.

I saw her clearly;
Moonbeams filtering through the trees.
So vivid and so real,
I could feel the soft warm breeze.

Summer in the South,
Faint sounds of crickets chirping.
Light tufts of Spanish moss
From spreading live oaks hanging.

Her soft hand in mine,
Strolling down the path slowly.
That warm tender feeling
Returned to me completely.

'Neath the moon above,
Her silky hair glistening.
Azure blue eyes lifted,
So expressively peering.

Summer in the South,
Faint sounds of crickets chirping.
Light tufts of Spanish moss
From spreading live oaks hanging.

Her lips drawing close,
My pulse and breath quickening.
Luscious, desirable,
So soft, sweet and inviting.

I still remember,
Our first kiss and warm embrace.
How she felt in my arms,
The radiance of her face.

Summer in the South,
Faint sounds of crickets chirping.
Light tufts of Spanish moss
From spreading live oaks hanging.

Summer in the South,
Dreams of warm, tender feelings.
Light tufts of Spanish moss
From spreading live oaks hanging.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a sweet southern lady named Patty

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Yeah, I'm High On Life! (003)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I am high on life,
And God is my dealer.
I'm flyin high
Without drugs or liquor.

I don't need a crutch,
Don't need to medicate.
I praise the Lord,
And wanna celebrate.

Yeah, I'm high on life,
And God is my dealer.
I'm flyin high
Without drugs or liquor.

God will save your life;
He'll break your addiction.
Hallelujah!
Blessed benediction!

Yeah, I'm high on life,
And God is my dealer.
I'm flyin high
Without drugs or liquor.

I tell ya my friend,
Stay away from that junk.
You don't need it;
Don't be a stupid punk!

Yeah, I'm high on life,
And God is my dealer.
I'm flyin high
Without drugs or liquor.

Faith will get you through;
No need to cry or rant.
Do what you can,
Let God do what you can't.

Yeah, I'm high on life,
And God is my dealer.
I'm flyin high
Without drugs or liquor.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a Christian friend and the Holy Spirit

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Sweet Tea In The Summertime (002)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Sweet tea in the summertime,
Amaretto pecan pie.
Carolina mountain ridges,
Tall southern pines touching the sky.

These things remind me of you,
Sweet refreshing tenderness.
Your laughs, your cute little giggles,
Southern belles are my weakness.

You knock me right off my feet
When I hear your soft sweet voice.
You stir the passions of my soul;
My heart is light and I rejoice.

Sweet tea in the summertime,
Amaretto pecan pie.
Carolina mountain ridges,
Tall southern pines that touch the sky.

Your cheery disposition,
Your charitable manner.
Oh yeah girl, you lift my spirits,
And make me feel ten years younger.

My Carolina sweetheart,
Complete love freely given.
Hugs to you, my dear lovely friend,
Sweetest gal this side of heaven.

Sweet tea in the summertime,
Amaretto pecan pie.
Carolina mountain ridges,
Tall southern pines that touch the sky.

Oh yeah!

Sweet tea in the summertime,
Amaretto pecan pie.
Sweet tea in the summertime,
Amaretto pecan pie.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫
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© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a sweet Carolina southern belle

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Beginnings And Endings (001)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Beginnings and endings,
We've all had a few.
Times we are happy,
Times we are blue.

Beginnings and endings,
The highs and the lows.
Exhilarations ....
And hard body blows.

The peaks and the valleys,
Love comes and love goes.
Ocean tide movements,
The ebbs and the flows.

Beginnings and endings,
The highs and the lows.
Exhilarations ....
And hard body blows.

We see it repeated,
The cycle of love.
We can't always be
Like a pair of doves.

Beginnings and endings,
The highs and the lows.
Exhilarations ....
And hard body blows.

Oh yeah friends ...

Beginnings and endings,
The highs and the lows.
Exhilarations ....
And hard body blows.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by life's observations and life's experiences

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~