I Ain't Got The Balls To Go Off Half-Cocked (027)

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I ain't got the balls
To go off half-cocked.
I mind my own business,
Don't start no barroom fights.

I sit quietly at the bar
And drink my beer.
I keep my trap shut,
And I rarely interfere.

But then she walked in ...
It was a Friday night.
Three ice-cold bottles of Bud,
And I was feelin' alright.

She sat up on a stool
Right next to Billy Joe.
'Fore long, ol' Billy hit on her,
But the lady told him "NO!"

Well, I had me a fourth Bud
And listened in on the conversation.
Ol' Billy was persistent;
Used all his powers of persuasion.

I ain't got the balls
To go off half-cocked.
I mind my own business,
Don't start no barroom fights.

After awhile, I got tired
Of ol' Billy's badgerin'.
So I got up n' went o'er there;
Said "Billy, how ya' doin'?"

Said "I've just been noticin'
You're botherin' this nice lady.
Think ya' oughta quit drinkin'
And just go on n' leave her be."

Ol' Billy didn't take real kindly
To my polite suggestion.
He got up off his bar stool,
Took a swing at me right there n' then!

Well, I was lucky enough to duck
And ol' Billy stumbled and fell.
He hit his head on a table,
And that really rang his bell!

I ain't got the balls
To go off half-cocked.
I mind my own business,
Don't start no barroom fights.

Then I said to the lady
"C'mon, let's get outta here!
Let's go across the river;
We can talk and drink some more beer."

Well, to my amazement,
She smiled at me and said "YES!"
I think she thought I was gentleman;
At least, that's what I guess.

We had a lovely evening
Just talkin' about this and that.
It seemed we had a certain chemistry,
Almost like we were soulmates.

Jane and I kept on talkin'
Right up to last call and closin'.
Then I drove her back to her car,
Where we said goodnight after some huggin' n' kissin'.

No, I ain't got the balls
To go off half-cocked.
I mind my own business,
Don't start no barroom fights.

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a gal named Jane and a few too many Budweisers

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