She Ran O'er Ol' Jack (108)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Don't mind her leavin',
Don't care if she ever comes back.
When she backed down the driveway
She ran o'er ol' Jack!

I don't give a hoot in hell
What happens to her anymore!
But I'll tell ya' this,
I miss ol' Jack for sure.

Ol' Jack was my best friend,
At my side through the years.
I sure know I'll miss him
When quail season nears.

She left in a big ol' hissy fit,
Didn't bother to look back.
And she tore out my heart
When she ran o'er ol' Jack.

My best friend,
Tail always waggin'.
Unconditional love,
Yep, that was ol' Jack!

Oh yeah, my best friend,
Tail always a waggin',
Unconditional love.
I'll never forget ol' Jack!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer

Inspired by my dog, Spot

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I Got Knee-Walkin' Drunk (And She Ran Out On Me) (074)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I got knee-walkin' drunk,
And she ran out on me.

We went out to dinner
With another couple.
It was a real nice night
'Til I caused some trouble.

Bombay gin martinis
Before we were seated.
Glasses of wine with dinner
Too oft repeated.

Then we moved on over
To the piano bar.
Several cognacs and
A Cohiba cigar.

They clapped when I sang
'It's A Long Way To Tipperary',
And that's when I began
To feel a bit dizzy.

They told me I stumbled
And fell down to my knees.
Knee-walkin' drunk again,
Despite her constant pleas.

Someone called me a cab
And served me some coffee.
I was knee-walkin' drunk,
And she ran out on me.

She didn't return home;
I waited up 'til three.
I got knee-walkin' drunk,
And she ran out on me.

Oh yeah! Lemme tell ya'!

I got knee-walkin' drunk,
And she ran out on me.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by man I know who got knee-walkin' drunk. (Not me, of course!)

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She's Gone And Left Me Up A Creek (068)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

She's gone and left me
Up a creek
Without a paddle
Or mosquito spray.

But I ain't the least bit
Resentful,
Bitter or angry,
Not in any way.

Guess I can't say I'm
Real surprised,
'Cause I'm familiar
With all her evil ways.

My drinkin' buddies
All told me
She'd up and leave me
For Joe Bob someday.

Well, I just told 'em
I'd always hoped
Joe Bob would take her
And move far away.

I'm so very glad
To be rid of
That evil woman,
I can hardly say.

Because she left me
Up a creek
Without a paddle
Or mosquito spray.

Good riddance to you,
Psycho bitch!
I ain't resentful,
No, not in any way.

Oh, no no no no!
I ain't resentful
In any damned way!

She ran off and left me
Up a creek
Without a paddle
Or mosquito spray.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by creeks from my youth and a psycho bitch from later life

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My Ol' Buddy Jack (062)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Took the wrong exit
A few miles back.
Was talkin' a bit too much with
My ol' buddy Jack.

We've been through a lot,
Ol' Jack and me.
Our last huntin' trip together,
This will likely be.

Learned recently that
Jack has cancer.
I guess he won't be a huntin'
With me much longer.

I just hope there are
Quail in heaven.
Because if those quail are up there,
Jack's gonna find 'em.

Jack's been right with me
For fourteen years.
Ol' Jack about ten yards in front,
And me in the rear.

Oh yeah ...

I just hope there are
Quail in heaven.
If those crafty birds are up there,
Ol' Jack's gonna find 'em.

Yeah, ol' Jack will find 'em!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by my Brittany Spaniel. He was a tireless quail hunter.

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She's A Real Good Looker (But She Ain't Seein' Me No More) (060)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

She's a real good looker,
But she ain't seein' me no more.
She's got a sexy, hard body
Which I absolutely adore.

'Guess I really screwed up
When I got caught with her sister,
'Cause she ain't buyin' my story
That we were just playin' twister.

Guess all I can do now
Is take my licks and move along.
This is just another story
For a sad country-western song.

Oh yeah, my friend ...

She's a real good looker,
But she ain't seein' me no more!

Oh no, my friend ...

She's a real good looker,
But she ain't seein' me no more!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a few cans of Milwaukee's Best

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I'm About As Stinkin' Low As Low Down Can Go (047)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I'm about as stinkin' low
As low down can go.
Don't really know how I can
Go on any mo'.

My wife of eight years ran off
With another man.
That ain't so bad but she took
My new Suburban!

The woman took all my guns,
'Killed my prize boar hog.
Now if that weren't bad enough,
She ran o'er my dog.

Oh yeah, I'm about as low
As low down can go.
Don't really know how I can
Go on any mo'.

Went out and got drunk last night;
My mouth's cotton dry.
On top of all that I got
My third DWI!

And today I lost my job ...
For bein' late I guess.
To top it off, I'm bein' audited
By the IRS!

I'm about as stinkin' low
As low down can go.
Don't even know how I can
Go on any mo'.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by all those real sad, sad country songs

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If You're Lookin' For Love (Get Yourself A Bluetick Coonhound) (046)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

If you're lookin' for love,
Get yourself a bluetick coonhound.
A dog is man's best friend,
At least that's what I've always found.

Oh yeah, if you're lookin' for love,
Get yourself a bluetick coonhound!

Yeah, he might drool on ya',
And he might howl from time to time.
But he'll always be faithful,
And he'll rarely complain or whine.

Oh yeah, if you're lookin' for love,
Get yourself a bluetick coonhound!

A hound like ol' Smokey
From down in Knoxville, Tennessee.
He won't bite or leave ya',
And those coons he'll 'most always tree.

Oh yeah, if you're lookin' for love,
Get yourself a bluetick coonhound!

Yeah, a purebred bluetick coonhound!
Howooooooooooooooh! Howoooooooooooooh!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a coonhound that loved me

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Stay With Me Baby (034)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

I've forgiven her,
But I just can't forget.
Can't seem to go on;
No I can't, not just yet.

Twistin' in the wind,
Memories o' the past.
Guess we can be friends,
If we don't go too fast.

Hope you'll understand
About my broken heart.
Pleasure meetin' you;
Seems we had a good start.

The pain of a loss
Hangs around way too long.
As I think back now,
Reckon we were both wrong.

That's all in the past,
And now she's gone away.
Maybe you and I
Can begin a new day.

Tried a lot o' things
To chase away the pain.
You are the sunshine
To drive away the rain.

But hon, like I said,
Think we should take it slow.
Stay with me baby;
Be patient, please don't go.

Oh yeah ...

Stay with me baby;
Oh hon, please don't ya' go!

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the experience of not being able to move on

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There Ain't No First-Aid Kit For A Broken Heart (033)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

A J & J band-aid
Just won't mend a broken heart.
Bayer aspirin won't ease the pain
When two young lovers part.

Pfizer has yet to find
The cure for hearts torn apart.
And The Red Cross still ain't got a
First-aid kit for your heart.

Though Watkins salve is good,
It won't heal the awful hurt.
Soap n' water won't clean the wound
When you're feelin' like dirt.

No, my friend ...

There ain't no first-aid kit
For an achin' breakin' heart.
It's just gonna take time to mend
Injuries of that sort.

There ain't no first-aid kit
For an achin' breakin' heart.
It's just gonna take time to mend
Injuries of that sort.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by the experience of an achin' breakin' heart

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Cowboys Never Cry, And Happy Songs Don't Sell (031)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Gentlemen don't swear,
Ladies don't kiss n' tell,
Cowboys never cry,
And happy songs don't sell.

Willie sings about
Apprehension n' fear,
Hard whiskey drinkin',
Lonesome heartache and tears.

Patsy went crazy,
Crazy for feelin' blue,
For feelin' lonely,
Crazy for lovin' you.

Gentlemen don't swear,
Ladies don't kiss n' tell,
Cowboys never cry,
And happy songs don't sell.

Bocephus parties
With all his rowdy friends,
And Ol' Hank's got a
Whirlpool just made for ten.

Johnny Cash got stuck
Out in Folsom Prison,
But that train kept a rollin'
On down to San Antone.

Gentlemen don't swear,
Ladies don't kiss n' tell,
Cowboys never cry,
And happy songs don't sell.

Waylon's good-hearted woman
Loved a good-timin' man.
She loved him in spite of
His ways she didn't understand.

Loretta was born
A coal miner's daughter.
In a lil' cabin on a hill
In Butcher Holler.

Gentlemen don't swear,
Ladies don't kiss n' tell,
Cowboys never cry,
And happy songs don't sell.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a lot of sad country songs I've heard on a lot of juke boxes in a lot of beer joints

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Life Ain't Easy (029)

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

Have you ever
Felt down-hearted?
Did you ever
Wanna break down and cry?

Have you ever
Been down and out?
Did you ever
Wanna lay down and die?

Have you ever
Been real depressed?
Did you ever
Worry all through the night?

Have you ever
Spoken harshly?
Did you ever
Regret a silly fight?

Life ain't easy,
And life ain't fair.
But life works out best
When you love, when you care.

Yeah, life works out best
When you love, when you care.

♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫

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© Copyright 2008.  All rights reserved.
Truman T. Tiger aka Richard H. Schaefer
Inspired by a few bumps along the road of life

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